ble, stand, as of old
time, side by side and shoulder to shoulder.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE IRRESISTIBLE MEETS THE IMMOVABLE.

SCENE: _Exclusive West-End Square, with passing procession of "Reds."_

_The Flag-bearer._ "COMRADE, THE REVOLUTION IS 'ERE!"

_The Complete Butler._ "AR! WILL YOU KINDLY DELIVER IT AT THE HAREA
HENTRANCE?"]

* * * * *

THE BATTLE OF THE MOTHERS.

We were sitting in the smoking-room when the Venerable Archdeacon entered.
He had been so long absent that we asked him the reason.

Had he been ill?

Ill? Not he. He never was better in his life. He had merely been on a motor
tour with his mother.

"Do you mean to say," someone inquired--an equally elderly member--almost
with anger, certainly with a kind of outraged surprise, "that you have a
mother still living?"

"Of course I have," said the Man of God. "My mother is not only living but
is in the pink of condition."

"And how old is she?" the questioner continued.

"She is ninety-one," said the Archdeacon proudly.

Most of us looked at him with wonder and respect--even a touch of awe.

"And still motoring!" I commented.

"She delights in motoring."

"Well," said the angry man, "you needn't be so conceited about it. You are
not the only person with an aged mother. I have a mother too."

We switched round to this new centre of surprise. It was more incredible
that this man should have a mother even than the Archdeacon. No one had
ever suspected him of anything so extreme, for he had a long white beard
and hobbled with a stick.

"And how old may your mother be?" the Archdeacon inquired.

"My mother is ninety-two."

"And is she well and hearty?"

"My mother," he replied, "is in rude health--or, as you would say, full of
beans."

The Archdeacon made a deprecatory movement, repudiating the metaphor.

"She not only motors," the layman pursued, "but she can walk. Can your
mother walk?"

"I am sorry to say," said the Archdeacon, "that my mother has to be helped
a good deal."

"Ha!" said the layman.

"But," the Archdeacon continued, "she has all her other faculties. Can your
mother still read?"

"My mother is a most accomplished and assiduous knitter," said the bearded
man.

"No doubt, no doubt," the Archdeacon agreed; "but my question was, Can she
still read?"

"With glasses--yes," said the other.

"Ha!" exclaimed the Archdeacon, "I thought so. Now