as well or better known by
some to whom he repeats them than they are to himself. It would not be
so objectionable did he not exhibit himself in such airs of
self-conceit, and speak in a manner which indicated that he was in his
own estimation the chief personage of the company. On one occasion he
was apparently gulling his hearers with a tale as new to them, with all
the egotism he could command, when, as soon as he had done, one present,
disgusted with his vanity, quietly observed, "That is an old thing which
I remember hearing in my childhood." But, nothing daunted by this, he
still went on with his egotistic talk and manner, until another
gentleman well read in books recommended him when he reached home to
procure a certain book of jests and read it, and he would find every one
of his pleasantries which he had told on that occasion there inserted.
This advice being taken, he found that all his jokes and puns which he
thought were new, or wished to pass as new, had been published and gone
through several editions before he or his friends were ever heard of.

* * * * *

When a man's conversation is principally about himself, he displays
either ignorance of men and things, or is inflated with vanity and
self-laudation. He must imagine himself and his doings to be of such
consequence that if not known it will be an irreparable loss to the
world. He shows himself in the social circle in an air which indicates
that he would, were he able, either compel others to retire, or eclipse
them with his own moonshine glare.

Such a talker must necessarily be a person at great discount in all
well-informed and respectable society. They resent his disgusting
trespasses upon their general rights; and they are just in so doing.
What authority has he for his intrusions? He has none, either in himself
or in his associations. His inventions, of which he speaks, will not
sustain the test of examination. His great and numerous acquaintances of
which he boasts are not all of the genuine stamp. The cards which lie on
his table, thick as autumnal leaves, and to which he points for your
particular observation, are not of the kind he would lead you to
believe.

"I was to dine with the Admiral to-night," said a naval lieutenant once;
"but I have so many invitations elsewhere that I can't go."

"I am going, and I'll apologise," said a brother officer.

"O, don't trouble yourself."

"But I must," said the off