y of your
residence, "No admission for slanderers." And in case he should find an
entrance, inscribe upon the walls of your rooms what St. Augustine
inscribed upon his,--

"He that doth love on absent friends to jeer
May hence depart, no room is for him here."

Close your ears to his slanders whenever and wherever you meet him.
"Lend not your ears," says an old writer, "to those who go about with
tales and whispers; whose idle business it is to tell news of this man
and the other: for if these kind of flies can but blow in your ears, the
worms will certainly creep out at your mouth. For all discourse is kept
up by exchange; and if he bring thee one story, thou wilt think it
incivility not to repay him with another for it; and so they chat over
the whole neighbourhood; accuse this man, and condemn another, and
suspect a third, and speak evil of all."

XII.

_THE VALETUDINARIAN._

"Some men employ their health, an ugly trick,
In making known how oft they have been sick;
And give us, in recitals of disease,
A doctor's trouble, but without his fees."
COWPER.

This is a talker who may very properly occupy a place in our sketches.
It may not be necessary to give a description of his person. And were it
necessary, it would be difficult, on account of the frequent changes to
which he is subject. It is not, however, with his bodily appearance that
we have to do. He cannot perhaps be held responsible for this
altogether. But the fault of his tongue is undoubtedly a habit of his
own formation, and may therefore be described, with a view to its
amendment and cure.

The Valetudinarian is a man subject to some affliction, imaginary or
real, or it may be both. Whatever may be its nature, it loses nothing by
neglect on his part, for he is its devoted nurse and friend. Night and
day, alone and in company, he is most faithful in his attentions. He
keeps a mental diary of his complaints in their changing symptoms, and
of his general experience in connection with them. Whenever you meet
him, you find him well informed in a knowledge of the numerous
variations of his "complicated, long-continued, and unknown
afflictions."

* * * * *

Mr. Round was a man who will serve as an illustration of this talker. He
was formerly a merchant in the city of London. During the period of his
business career he was remarkably activ