would appear that as he is endowed with universal
presence, he is endowed with universal knowledge also, which leads him
to universal grumbling.

11. The grumbling talker _is afflicted with a most revolting disease_.
It is dangerous in its nature, and most unpleasant in its influence. It
is injurious in its operation upon all who come within its reach.
Persons who are not troubled with it, and are not accustomed to see it,
never wish to catch a sight or a scent of it the second time. It is
rather contagious. If the law regulating the case of the leper was to be
enforced in the case of the grumbler, it might have a salutary effect.
But as there is no probability of this, and as it is important that the
disease should be arrested before it spread farther and prove more
disastrous than it has, I shall, _pro bono publico_, as well as for the
grumbler himself, presume to copy an American prescription that I have
in my possession, and which never failed to cure any grumbler who
scrupulously carried it out.

"1. Stop grumbling.

"2. Get up two hours earlier in the morning, and begin to do
something outside of your _regular profession_.

"3. Stop grumbling.

"4. Mind your own business, and with all your might; let other
people alone.

"5. Stop grumbling.

"6. Live within your means. Sell your horse. Give away or kill your
dog.

"7. Stop grumbling.

"8. Smoke your cigars through an _air_-tight stove. Eat with
moderation, and go to bed early.

"9. Stop grumbling.

"10. Talk less of your own peculiar gifts and virtues, and more of
those of your friends and neighbours.

"11. Stop grumbling.

"12. Do all you can to make others happy. Be cheerful. Bend your
neck and back more frequently when you pass those outside of
'select circles.' Fulfil your promises. Pay your debts. Be yourself
all you see in others. Be a _good_ man, a _true Christian_, and
then you cannot help _finally to_

"13. Stop grumbling."

The above is an admirable receipt for the grumbling disease. It is
composed of ingredients each of which is the best quality of healing
medicine. Every grumbler should take the whole as prescribed, and he
will soon experience a sensible change in his nature for the better; his
friends also will observe him rapidly convalescent, and after a short
time will rejoice over his restoration to a sound healthy