The friend of the shark and the carp.
He sits in his chair
With his feet on the table,
And lists to the prayer
Of Minerva and Mabel,
Veritas, Pro Bono, Taxpayer, and the rest,
Who wail on his shoulder and weep on his breast.

Old Amicus Pop
Is the solace and prop
Of all who are weary of life.
He straightens the tangles
And jangles and wrangles
That breed in this city of strife.
Whatever your "beef,"
You may pour him an earful;
Unbottle your grief
Be it ever so tearful.
Oh, weep all you wish--he is there with the mop.
Bring all of your troubles to Amicus Pop.

* * *

When we think of the countless thousands who peruse this Cro'-nest of
Criticism, a feeling of responsibility weighs heavily upon us, and
almost spoils our day. Frezzample, one writes from St. Paul: "We have
twenty confirmed readers of the Line in this 'house.'" The quotation
marks disturb us. Can it be a sanitarium?

* * *

Most of the trouble in this world is caused by people who do not know
when they are well off. The Germans did not know when they were well
off. Your cook, who left last week, as little apprehended her good
fortune. Nor will the Filipinos be happy till they get it.

* * *

Those who stand in awe of persons with logical minds will be reassured
by Henry Adams' pertinent reflection that the mind resorts to reason for
want of training. His definition of philosophy is also reassuring:
"Unintelligible answers to insoluble problems."

* * *

Among those who have guessed at the meaning of "the freedom of the seas"
was Cowper:

"Without one friend, above all foes,
Britannia gives the world repose."

* * *

Maxwell Bodenheim has published a book of poems, and the critics allow
that Max Boden's brays are bonnie.

* * *

IF YOU MUST KISS, KISS THE DOCTOR.

[From "How to Avoid Influenza."]

Avoid kissing, as this habit readily transmits influenza. If physician
is available, it is best to consult him.

* * *

QUICK, WATSON, THE PLUMBER!

[From the Cedar Rapids Gazette.]

Mrs. T. M. Dripps gave a dinner Friday in honor of Mrs. D. L. Leek of
South Dakota.

* *