*

THE HUNTING OF THE PACIFIST SNARK.

(_With Mr. Ford as the Bellman._)

"Just the place for a Snark!" the Bellman cried,
"Just the place for a Snark, I declare!"
And he anchored the _Flivver_ a mile up the river,
And landed his crew with care.

He had bought a large map representing the moon,
Which he spread with a runcible hand;
And the crew, you could see, were as pleased as could be
With a map they could all understand.

"Now, listen, my friends, while I tell you again
The five unmistakable marks
By which you may know, wherever you go,
The warranted pacifist Snarks.

The first is the taste, which is something like guff,
Tho' with gammon 'twill also compare;
The next is the sound, which is simple enough--
It resembles escaping hot air.

The third is the shape, which is somewhat absurd,
And this you will understand
When I tell you it looks like the African bird
That buries its head in the sand.

The fourth is a want of the humorous sense,
Of which it has hardly a hint.
And last, but not least, this marvelous beast
Is a glutton for getting in print.

Now, Pacifist Snarks do no manner of harm,
Yet I deem it my duty to say,
Some are Boojums----" The Bellman broke off in alarm,
For Jane Addams had fainted away.

* * *

Concerning his reference to "Demosthenes' lantern," the distinguished
culprit, Rupert Hughes, writes us that of course he meant Isosceles'
lantern. The slip was pardonable, he urges, as he read proof on the line
only seven times--in manuscript, in typescript, in proof for the
magazine, in the copy for the book, in galley, in page-proof, and
finally in the printed book. And heaven only knows how many proofreaders
let it through. "Be that as it may," says Rupert, "I am like our famous
humorist, Archibald Ward, who refused to be responsible for debts of his
own contracting. And, anyway, I thank you for calling my attention to
the blunder quietly and confidentially, instead of bawling me out in a
public place where a lot of people might learn of it."

* * *

SORRY WE MISSED YOU.

Sir:... There were several things I wanted to say to you, and I proposed
also to crack you over the sconce for what you have been saying about us
Sinn Feiners. I suppose you're the sort that would laugh at this story:

He was Irish and badly wounded, unconscious when they got him back to
th