ld in your
head.

* * *

THE SOIL OF KANSAS.

[From the Kansas Farmer.]

Formed by the polyps of a shallow, summer sea; fixed by the subtile
chemistry of the air, and comminuted by the AEolian geology of the Great
Plains, the soil of Kansas has been one of man's richest possessions.

Why prose? The soil of Kansas, the Creator's masterpiece, invites to
song. Frinstance--

Formed by the polyps of a summer sea,
Fixed by the subtile chemistry of air,
Ground by AEolian geology,
The soil of Kansas is beyond compare!

* * *

THE GOOD OLD DAYS.

Sir: An old stage hand at the Eau Claire opry house was talking. "No,
sir, you don't see the actors to-day like we used to. Why, when Booth
and Barrett played here you could hear them breathe way up in the fly
gallery."

E. C. M.

* * *

"WHAT THE LA HELLE!"

[From the Kankakee Republican.]

He helped tramp the old Hindenburg line, but this time, beating it on
the strains of "Allons enfant de la Patrie le Jour de Gloire est de
Triomphe et Arrivee!"

* * *

Here is a characteristic bit of Vermontese that we picked up. A native
was besought to saw some wood, but he declined. The owner of the wood
offered double price for the sawing, and still the native declined. He
was pressed for a reason, and this was it: "Damned if I'll humor a man."

* * *

"It is not moral. It is immoral," declared an editorial colleague; and a
reader is reminded of Lex Iconles, the old Greek baker of Grammer's Gap,
Ark., who used to display in his window the enticing sign: "Doughnuts.
Different and yet not the same."

* * *

The mind of man is subject to many strange delusions, and one of these
is that the stock market has a bottom.

* * *

The manufacturer of a certain automobile advertises that his vehicle
"will hold five ordinary people." And, as a matter of fact, it usually
does.

* * *

The Westminster Gazette headlines "The Intolerable Dullness of Country
Life in Ireland." And Irene wonders what they would call excitement.

* * *

An advertisement of dolls mentions, superfluously, that "some may not
last the day." One does not expect them to.

* * *

The London Mendicity Society estimates that L100,000 is given away
haphazard every year to