RIME MINISTER._ Then why should you want to strike
When the Government saves your faces?
You can get more pay when you like
On the larger output basis."

And the Chorus of course chimes in:--

"They can get more pay when they like
On the larger output basis."

And there is a note at the side: "_Chorus to wave arms upwards and
outwards, indicating increased production of coal._"

It seems to have been at some time after this, and probably in Act III.,
that Titterby went, if I may put it so vulgarly, off the hooks. I think
he must have got on to the conference between the mineowners and the
representatives of the miners, and struggled until the gas became too
thick for him. At any rate, after several unreadable pages, the
following unhappy fragment stands out clear:--

"_Mr. SMILLIE still stands irresolute, running his fingers
through his hair._

_Chorus of Mineowners_ (_pointing at him_).

Ruffled hair requires, I ween,
Something in the brilliantine
Or else in the pomatum line.
How shall we devise a balm
Mr. SMILLIE'S locks to calm?
Hullo! here comes the Datum-Line!

_Enter_ Datum-Line. (_? can Datum-Line be personified? ? comic.
? check trousers. ? red whiskers._)"

Nothing more has been written, and it must have been at this point, I
suppose, that Titterby got up and assaulted his piano. It all seems very
sad.

EVOE.

* * * * *

[Illustration: A PROSPECTIVE JONAH?

THE CAPTAIN (_to Sir ERIC GEDDES_). "I SOMETIMES WONDER WHETHER A MAN OF
YOUR ABILITY OUGHT NOT TO FIND A BETTER OPENING."

[It is rumoured that the Ministry of Transport is to have a limited
existence.]]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Lady._ "NO COD LEFT, MR. BROWN?"

_Fishmonger_ (_confidentially_). "WELL, MRS. SNIPPS, I'LL OBLIGE YOU. I
ALWAYS KEEPS A BIT UP MY SLEEVE FOR REG'LAR CUSTOMERS."]

* * * * *

CONSOLATION.

You may be very ugly and freckledy and small
And have a little stubby nose that's not a nose at all;
You may be bad at spelling and you may be worse at sums,
You may have stupid fingers that your Nanna says are thumbs,
And lots of things you look for you may never, never find,
But if you love the fairies--you don't mind.

You may be rather frightened when you read o