he candle and allowed her lord to get
into his apple-pie in the dark. I think I shall like her.

They couldn't find the matches. I believe he was quite angry....

IV.

I suspect Denys and Joan. They are engaged, and people in that state are
capable of anything. Neither of them had one, and they were seen
slipping upstairs during the dance. They say they went out on the
balcony--a pretty story....

V.

I suspect the Barkers. You know, that story about Mrs. B. letting Mr. B.
get into his without warning him was pretty thin. Can you imagine an
English wife doing a thing of that kind? If you can it ought to be a
ground for divorce under the new Bill. But you can't.

Then all that stuff about the rheumatism--clever but unconvincing. Mr.
Barker stayed in his room all the next morning _when the awkward
questions were being asked_. Not well; oh, no! But he was down for lunch
and conducting for a glee-party in the drawing-room afterwards, as perky
and active as a professional. Besides, the really unanswerable problem
is, who could have _dared_ to make the Barkers' apple-pie beds? And the
answer is, nobody--except the Barkers.

And there must have been a lady in it, it was so neatly done. Everybody
says no _man_ could have done it. So that shows you it couldn't have
been me--I--myself....

VI.

I suspect Mr. Winthrop. Mr. Winthrop is fifty-three. He has been in the
hotel since this time last year, and he makes accurate forecasts of the
weather. My experience is that a man who makes accurate forecasts of the
weather may get up to any devilry. And he protests too much. He keeps
coming up to me and making long speeches to prove that he didn't do it.
But I never said he did. Somebody else started that rumour, but of
course he thinks that I did. That comes of being a professional
humourist.

But I do believe he did it. You see he is fifty-three and doesn't dance,
so he had the whole evening to do it in.

To-night we are going to have a Court of Inquiry....

VII.

We have had the inquiry. I was judge. I started with Denys and Joan in
the dock, as I thought we must have somebody there and it would look
better if it was somebody in the family. The first witness was Mrs.
Barker. Her evidence was so unsatisfactory that I had to have her put in
the dock too. So was Mr. Barker's. I was sorry to put him in the dock,
as he still had rheumatics. But he had to go.

So did Mr. Winthrop. I had no qualms about him. For a man of h