_ to regulate the moisture?
Oh, Lucina, 'twill be ripping
When we hear the eggs all pipping!

When no chick the shell encumbers,
Goddess, hear their tuneful numbers!
Then, O patroness of hatches,
We will try some further batches.
Goddess, hear me!--oh, incline a
Gracious ear to me, Lucina!

* * * * *

"MATRIMONY.--Two young, respectable fellows wish to meet two
respectable young girls, between the ages of 20 and 30, view
above.--T.S.R. and E.C.P., Clematis P.O., Paradise."--_Melbourne
Argus._

If marriages are made in heaven these respectable young fellows have
selected a really promising postal address.

* * * * *

"Nine petty officers were landed from the damaged German destroyer V69
and brought to the Willem Barrentz Hotel, Ymuiden, to-night. My
correspondent engaged them in conversation at a late hour. After some
Dutch Bock beer they rapidly recovered their spirits and began to sing
Luther's well-known hymn, 'Ein Feste Bung.'"--_Provincial Paper._

Very appropriate too, but wouldn't a loose "Bung" have pleased them even
better?

* * * * *

[Illustration: A PLAIN DUTY.

"WELL, GOODBYE, OLD CHAP, AND GOOD LUCK! I'M GOING IN HERE TO DO MY BIT,
THE BEST WAY I CAN. THE MORE EVERYBODY SCRAPES TOGETHER FOR THE WAR LOAN,
THE SOONER YOU'LL BE BACK FROM THE TRENCHES."]

* * * * *

[Illustration: "STICK TO HIM--STICK TO HIM!"

"I'LL STICK TO HIM, SIR. BUT WHICH ONE DO YOU MEAN?"]

* * * * *

LETTERS FROM MACEDONIA.

IV.

MY DEAR JERRY,--I am writing this from my position on top of a small hill,
while my devoted band of followers sits round me and waits for me to speak.
I always sit here, because if I wanted to go somewhere else I should have
to climb down this hill and then up another one. I hate hills. So does the
devoted band.

Behind another little hill a hundred yards away we believe there lurks an
army corps of Bulgars, but we are afraid to look and see. Instead, we fix
and unfix bayonets every ten minutes and make martial noises. This, we
hope, affects the enemy's _moral_, and having your _moral_ affected every
ten minutes is no joke, I can tell you.

The spirit of our troops remains excellent. You can see that this is true
from the fact that my joke still works. Every night for the last th