our of reading, and tries
The student's pre-eminent asset, his eyes,
And in consequence lends a most lucrative aid
To people engaged in the spectacle trade.
But these manifest drawbacks to little amount
When tried by the only criteria that count:
Though the people who use it don't really need it,
It exasperates aliens whenever they read it.
It is solid, _echt-Deutsch_, free from Frenchified froth,
And in fine it is Gothic, befitting the Goth.

So when the great Prussian Statistics Bureau
Proscribes Latin letters and says they must go,
They are giving a lead which we earnestly hope
Will be followed beyond its original scope;
For the more German books that in Gothic are printed
The more will the spread of Hun "genius" be stinted,
And the larger the number, released from its gripe,
Of the students of Latin ideas--and type.

* * * * *

"Furniture for Poultry: 2 easy chairs, solid walnut frames, nicely
upholstered and sound, 12/6 each; also 2 armchairs, 4 small chairs,
walnut frames, nicely upholstered and sound, L2; 5 other chairs,
upholstered in tapestry and leather, 5/- each."--_The Bazaar_.

Has this sort of thing Mr. PROTHERO'S approval? Some hens are already too
much inclined to sit when we want them to lay.

* * * * *

THE TIPINBANOLA.

"There," I said, "you've interrupted me again."

"Tut tut," said Francesca.

"And the dogs are barking," I said, "and the guinea-hens are squawking."

"I daresay," she said; "but you can't hear the guinea-hens; they're much
too far away."

"Yes, but I know they're squawking--they always are--and for a sensitive
highly-strung man it's the same thing."

"Tut-t----"

"Tut me no more of your tuts, Francesca," I said, "for I am engaged in a
most complicated and difficult arithmetical calculation."

"If," said Francesca deliberately, "two men in corduroys, with straps below
their knees, and a boy in flannel shorts, all working seven hours and a
half per day for a week, can plant five thousand potatoes on an acre of
land, how many girls in knickerbockers will be required to----"

"Stop, Francesca," I said, "or I shall go mad."

"If," she continued inexorably, "a train travelling at the rate of
sixty-two miles and three-quarters in an hour takes two and a half seconds
to pass a lame man walking in the same direction find how many men with one
arm each can boar