of bracken, wakes up and reads the proffered message.

* * * * *

"Tae G O C, Reid Airmy, Hazlemere. Reconnoitring patrol reports
hostile cavalry scouts country. Have thrown oot flank guns. Shall I
advance or retire where I am? From O C Advance Guard."

"This message doesna sound altogether sense," he observes mildly.
"That 'shall' should be 'wull,' onyway. Would it no' be better to get
it repeatit? The officer--"

"I've given the 'message-read' signal now," objects the indolent
Wamphray.

"How would it be," suggests the Lance-Corporal, whose besetting sin is
a _penchant_ for emendation, "if we were tae transfair yon stop, and
say: 'Reconnoitring patrol reports hostile cavalry scouts. Country has
thrown oot flank guns'?"

"What does that mean?" inquires M'Micking scornfully.

"I dinna ken; but these messages about Generals and sic'-like
bodies--"

At this moment, as ill-luck will have it, the Signal Sergeant appears
breasting the hillside. He arrives puffing--he has seen twenty years'
service--and scrutinises the message.

"You boys," he says reproachfully, "are an aggravate altogether. Here
you are, jumping at your conclusions again! After all I have been
telling you! See! That worrd in the address should no' be Haslemere at
all. It's just a catch! It's Hazebroucke--a Gairman city that we'll
be capturing this time next year. 'Scouts' is no 'scouts,' but
'scouring'--meaning 'sooping up.' 'Guns' should be 'guarrd,' and
'retire' should be 'remain.' Mind me, now; next time, you'll be up
before the Captain for neglect of duty. Wamphray, give the 'C.I.,' and
let's get hame to oor dinners!"

II

But "oot here" there is no flag-wagging. The Buzzer's first proceeding
upon entering the field of active hostilities is to get underground,
and stay there.

He is a seasoned vessel, the Buzzer of to-day, and a person of marked
individuality. He is above all things a man of the world. Sitting day
and night in a dug-out, or a cellar, with a telephone receiver clamped
to his ear, he sees little; but he hears much, and overhears more. He
also speaks a language of his own. His one task in life is to prevent
the letter B from sounding like C, or D, or P, or T, or V, over the
telephone; so he has perverted the English language to his own uses.
He calls B "Beer," and D "Don," and so on. He salutes the rosy dawn as
"Akk Emma," and eventide as "Pip Emma." He refers to the letter S as
"Esses," i