ion, it was found that
the single members of this noble army of martyrs were all 'starred,'
or 'reserved', or 'ear-marked'--or whatever it is that they do to
these careful fellows. So the poor old married shyster, who had only
attested to show his blooming patriotism and encourage the others,
suddenly found himself confronted with the awful prospect of having to
defend his country personally, instead of by letter to the halfpenny
press. Then the fat was fairly in the fire! The married martyr--"

"Come, come, old man! Not all of them!" said Colonel Kemp. "I have a
married brother of my own, a solicitor of thirty-eight, who is simply
clamouring for active service!"

"I know that, sir," admitted Wagstaffe quickly. "Thank God, these
fellows are only a minority, and a freak minority at that; but freak
minorities seem to get the monopoly of the limelight in our unhappy
country."

"The whole affair," mused the Colonel, "can hardly be described as a
frenzied rally round the Old Flag. By God," he broke out suddenly,
"it fairly makes one's blood boil! When I think of the countless good
fellows, married and single, but mainly married, who left _all_ and
followed the call of common decency and duty the moment the War broke
out--most of them now dead or crippled; and when I see this miserable
handful of shirkers, holding up vital public business while the pros
and cons of their wretched claims to exemption are considered--well, I
almost wish I had been born a Boche!"

"I don't think you need apply for naturalisation papers yet, Colonel,"
said Wagstaffe. "The country is perfectly sound at heart over this
question, and always was. The present agitation, as I say, is being
engineered by the more verminous section of our incomparable daily
Press, for its own ends. It makes our Allies lift their eyebrows a
bit; but they are sensible people, and they realise that although we
are a nation of lunatics, we usually deliver the goods in the end. As
for the Boche, poor fellow, the whole business makes him perfectly
rabid. Here he is, with all his splendid organisation and brutal
efficiency, and he can't even knock a dent into our undisciplined,
back-chatting, fool-ridden, self-depreciating old country! I, for one,
sympathise with the Boche profoundly. On paper, we don't _deserve_ to
win!"

"But we shall!" remarked that single-minded paladin, Bobby Little.

"Of course we shall! And what's more, we are going to derive a
national benefit o