ajor Wagstaffe. The Major gazed long and silently upon
his subordinate's handiwork. There was no mistaking it. It stood out
bright and gleaming in the rays of the rising sun, amid its dingy
surroundings of rusty ironmongery. Angus M'Lachlan waited anxiously
for a little praise.

"Jolly good piece of work," said Major Wagstaffe at last. "But tell
me, why have you repaired the Boche wire instead of your own?"

"The only enemy we have to fear," continued Colonel Kemp, rubbing his
spectacles savagely, "is the free and independent British voter--I
mean, the variety of the species that we have left at home. Like the
gentleman in Jack Point's song, 'He likes to get value for money'; and
he is quite capable of asking us, about June or July, 'if we know that
we are paid to be funny?'--before we are ready. What's your view of
the situation at home, Wagstaffe? You're the last off leave."

Wagstaffe shook his head.

"The British Nation," he said, "is quite mad. That fact, of course,
has been common property on the Continent of Europe ever since Cook's
Tours were invented. But what irritates the orderly Boche is that
there is no method in its madness. Nothing you can go upon, or take
hold of, or wring any advantage from."

"As how?"

"Well, take compulsory service. For generations the electorate of
our country has been trained by a certain breed of politician--the
_Bandar-log_ of the British Constitution--to howl down such a low and
degrading business as National Defence. A nasty Continental custom,
they called it. Then came the War, and the glorious Voluntary System
got to work."

"Aided," the Colonel interpolated, "by a campaign of mural
advertisement which a cinema star's press agent would have boggled
at!"

"Quite so," agreed Wagstaffe. "Next, when the Voluntary System had
done its damnedest--in other words, when the willing horse had been
worked to his last ounce--we tried the Derby Scheme. The manhood of
the nation was divided into groups, and a fresh method of touting for
troops was adopted. Married shysters, knowing that at least twenty
groups stood between them and a job of work, attested in comparatively
large numbers. The single shysters were less reckless--so much less
reckless, in fact, that compulsion began to materialise at last."

"But only for single shysters," said Bobby Little regretfully.

"Yes; and the married shyster rejoiced accordingly. But the single
shyster is a most subtle reptile. On examinat