eing dispensed with. If you must dispense with one or the other, why
not leave out the acting?

***

"To assist in the breaking-up of grass-land," we are told, "the Board
of Agriculture proposes to allocate a number of horses to agricultural
counties." The idea of allocating some of our incurable golfers
to this purpose does not appear to have suggested itself to our
slow-witted authorities.

***

"I have resigned because there is no further need for my services,"
said Mr. KENNEDY-JONES. Several politicians are of the opinion that
this was not a valid reason.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _First ex-Knut_. "WOULDN'T CARE TO BE IN BLIGHTY NOW,
REG., WHEN IT'S ROTTEN FORM TO GO IN FOR FANCY TEAS AND THAT--WHAT?"

_Second ex-Knut_. "HONK!"]

* * * * *

AN EXPANSIVE SMILE.

"SIX HUNDRED SQUARE MILES. BRITISH GAINS SINCE LAST
YEAR."--_The Statesman_ (_India_).

* * * * *

The _Berlin Tageblatt_ says that HERR MIHAELIS in the critical
passages measured his words "as carefully as if they were meat
rations." A wise precaution, in view of the likelihood that he
would have to eat them.

* * * * *

From a Cinema advertisement:--

"KEEPS YOU ON THE EDGE OF YOUR SEATS THROUGHOUT THE FIVE ACTS
OF A STORY THAT UNFOLDS ITSELF MIDST THE ROMANTIC PURLOINS OF
ITALY AND ENGLAND."--_Austrian Paper_.

We gather that the scene is laid in the thieves' quarter.

* * * * *

TO WILLIAM AT THE BACK OF THE GALICIAN FRONT.

Once more you follow in Bellona's train,
(Her train de luxe) in search of cheap reclame;
Once more you flaunt your rearward oriflamme,
A valiant eagle nosing out the slain.

Not to the West, where RUPPRECHT stands at bay,
Hard pushed with hounds of England at his throat,
And WILLIE'S chance grows more and more remote
Of breaking hearts along The Ladies' Way;

But to the East you go, for easier game,
Where traitors to their faith desert the fight,
And better men than yours are swept in flight
By coward Anarchy that sells her shame.

For here, by favour of your new allies,
You'll see recovered all you lost of late,
When, tried in open combat, fair and straight,
Your Huns were flattened out like swatted flies.

Well, make the most of this so timely boom,
For Russ