o croup.

"Get off that mare's neck, Number Seven, and try ridin' in the saddle
for a change; it'll be more comfortable for everybody.

"You oughter do cowboy stunts for the movin' pictures, Number Six, you
ought really. People would pay money to see you ride a norse upside
down like that. Got a strain of wild Cossack blood in you, eh?

"There you are, now you've been and fell off. Nice way to repay me for
all the patience an' learning I've given you!

"What are you lyin' there for? Day-dreaming? I s'pose you're goin' to
tell me you're 'urted now?' Be writing 'ome to Mother about it next:
'DEAR MA,--A mad mustang 'as trod on me stummick. Please send me a
gold stripe. Your loving child, ALGY.'

"Now mind the word. Ride--Can--ter!"

He cracks his whip; the horses throw up their heads and break into a
canter; the cavaliers turn pea-green about the chops, let go the reins
and clutch saddle-pommels.

The leading horse, a rakish chestnut, finding his head free at last
and being heartily fed-up with the whole business, suddenly bolts out
of the _manege_ and legs it across the meadow, _en route_ for stables
and tea. His eleven mates stream in his wake, emptying saddles as they
go.

The ten little _gamins_ dance ecstatically upon the bank, waving their
shirts and shrilling "_A Berlin! A Berlin!_"

The ancient Gaul props himself up against the pie-bald cow and shakes
his ancient head. "_C'est la guerre_," he croaks.

The deserted Riding-Master damns his eyes and blesses his soul for
a few moments; then sighs resignedly, takes a cigarette from his
cap lining, lights it and waddles off towards the village and his
favourite _estaminet_.

PATLANDER.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Motor Cyclist_. "DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT AN
AEROPLANE COMING DOWN SOMEWHERE NEAR HERE?"

_Boy._ "NO, SIR. I'VE ONLY BEEN SHOOTIN' AT SPARRERS."]

* * * * *

"Some of these fish have already found their way to Leeds,
and, it must be added, have not met with a very cordial
reception. Although the fish may be bought at what might be
described as an attractive price, they do not appear likely
to move for some time."--_Yorkshire Paper_.

But if the hot weather continues--

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Convalescent Lieutenant_. "CHEERIO, MARTHA! I'VE GOT
ANOTHER PIP."

_Martha_. "LAWKS, SIR! I 'OPE IT WON'T MEAN MORE VISITS TO T