dwell on the person you are
writing to.

Don't dwell on the details of illness or the manner of death; don't quote
endlessly from the poets and Scriptures. Remember that eyes filmed with
tears and an aching heart can not follow rhetorical lengths of writing.
The more nearly a note can express a hand-clasp, a thought of sympathy,
above all, a genuine love or appreciation of the one who has gone, the
greater comfort it brings.

Write as simply as possible and let your heart speak as truly and as
briefly as you can. Forget, if you can, that you are using written words,
think merely how you feel--then put your feelings on paper--that is all.

Supposing it is a young mother who has died. You think how young and sweet
she was--and of her little children, and, literally, your heart aches for
them and her husband and her own family. Into your thoughts must come some
expression of what she was, and what their loss must be!

Or maybe it is the death of a man who has left a place in the whole
community that will be difficult, if not impossible, to fill, and you
think of all he stood for that was fine and helpful to others, and how
much and sorely he will be missed. Or suppose that you are a returned
soldier, and it is a pal who has died. All you can think of is "Poor old
Steve--what a peach he was! I don't think anything will ever be the same
again without him." Say just that! Ask if there is anything you can do at
any time to be of service to his people. There is nothing more to be said.
A line, into which you have unconsciously put a little of the genuine
feeling that you had for Steve, is worth pages of eloquence.

A letter of condolence may be abrupt, badly constructed,
ungrammatical--never mind. Grace of expression counts for nothing;
sincerity alone is of value. It is the expression, however clumsily put,
of a personal something which was loved, and will ever be missed, that
alone brings solace to those who are left. Your message may speak merely
of a small incident--something so trifling that in the seriousness of the
present, seems not worth recording; but your letter and that of many
others, each bringing a single sprig, may plant a whole memory-garden in
the hearts of the bereaved.

=EXAMPLES OF NOTES AND TELEGRAMS=

As has been said above, a letter of condolence must above everything
express a genuine sentiment. The few examples are inserted merely as
suggestive guides for those at a loss to construct a short