nful
idleness he'd better copper his bet. All we do is rehearse all morning,
matinee all afternoon, performance all evening and travel all night. The
rest of the time we have to ourselves, and he thinks we frivol. Why, he
ain't wise to half the privations they force on us. Would you believe
it? I have gone forty weeks without never even catching a glimpse of
Broadway, and once went for ten without even a cheese sandwich to bring
gladness to my heart. Can you beat that? And then he goes and turns
loose a rebel yell because when we do get a little time to ourselves we
stay up late nights. Oh, Mellen's Food! When does he want us to stay up?
Mornings? Some wise boy once said, 'Early to bed, early to rise, but you
don't meet any prominent people,' and I guess maybe he wasn't right. He
got the number then all right, all right, and he didn't have to speak
harsh to Central at that. We gotta do something to amuse ourselves, and
I never had a traveling gentleman yet conduct me to a watch meeting. A
girl comes out of the stage door tired and lonesome; some village cut-up
prances out and gets acquainted; the girl is hungry, so why not? Perhaps
she is sending money home every week and can't afford a little lunch
after the show herself. No, that's no taproom jest. There is more than
one of the merry-merry putting her little sister through school and
don't you forget it for a minute. And he gets sore because we stay up
late nights. He'd better roll another pill, get at the cause and then
hang the curfew on a few of those town romps. If he hands out another
song and dance number like that again, send him up to me, I'll give him
a bunch of inside info that will make him think something broke loose.

"I managed to slip in and see 'The Talk of New York' the other night.
Say, that's a great play. Did you get wise to the way that Kid Burns
party juggles the loose talk? I don't believe there ever was a party
that slings slang the way that guy does. My mother was always particular
about my bringing up, and if I ever passed out any of this George Cohan
style of repartee she would give me a slap on the map and tell me to
chase back and handle my harangue as per Mr. Webster. So, though I have
traveled about a bit, I still retain my pure English, even when I lose
my temper, which is going some for a lady.

"What am I going to do New Year's? I know one thing. I ain't going to
play an encore to the sozzle session number I pulled off last season.
D