ints
where you get everything from soup to nuts, including a scuttle full of
red ink for thirty-five scudi. I was going to balk and rear in the
harness when he started to lead me up the steps of the foundry, but as I
always maintained discretion is the better part of valor, I'm two-bits
ahead anyway you play it. So I climb into the nosebag without a peep.
Yet--would you believe it?--when that wop came to cash in he shook the
mothballs out of a roll of bills that looked like nine miles' worth of
hall carpet. I had been acting very reserved heretofore, but when he
made this flash he commenced to look like a very dear friend of mine who
had been very kind to me in moments of adversity. I apprised him of the
fact, and the dog had the temerity to pin his pocket shut with a safety
pin right before my eyes. I come to find out later that he was a press
agent. Ain't it scandalous the way the Friars wine and dine the
dramatists every few weeks? I tried to agitate a bunch for the chorus
girls to give a dinner to Ben Teal or William Seymour, but while they
were all willing to be in on the big eat the way they ducked the
financial responsibilities would have made you think it was a
half-salary clause.

"The other day I put my ear to the ground and then cavorted madly around
to Mr. Savage's office to see if there was anything doing in the 'Merry
Widow' line. The handsome gentleman on the other side of the desk
allowed a ripple of merriment to float over his features and then spake
as follows: 'All we got to do is to toll the bell in the old church
tower and nine companies will answer like the fire department.' You know
I could have gone with the Paris 'Prince of Pilson' company, but those
French gentlemen are so emotional. One tried to bite my ear in Jack's
the other night.

"Did I tell you about Mamie de Vere becoming a bride again? She believes
in marrying at leisure and divorcing in haste. The justice of the peace
that always ties her nuptial knot told her that if she bought a ticket
she could save 50 cents per wedding and he would hand it to the happy
bridegroom as her dowry. Well, anyway they got maried after the show, so
that she wouldn't loose her job. I was maid of honor. Honest I was.
Don't it sound funny? And I carried her bouquet as the bridal party
marched up the hall to the office of the justice of the peace. Just as
he was about to pronounce the last sad rites a hurdy-gurdy started
playing 'Don't Get Married Any More,