mp
itself. And you know that's going to be some show. The Chorus Girls'
Mutual Knocking Society is going to build a home so that the poor doll
who comes in from the high grass in her normal condition, broke, can
have some place to go and rest and refresh herself without having to
hock a couple of wedding rings before she can have her hotel trunk sent
up.

"There's going to be fifty sleeping rooms and ninety-six maids, so that
if the poor skirt wakes up in the morning feeling far from a well woman
all she has to do is to tickle the zing-zing and the maid is right there
on the job. There is to be nineteen sound-proof parlors with two pianos
in each parlor.

"While there will be a chaperon, of course, she will permit the young
ladies to entertain their friends in a quiet and ladylike manner until
the porter starts cleaning up the bar in the morning. The inmates will
of course be allowed to sign checks, but from visitors only cash will be
accepted.

"Can you see a mob of those merry dames around that drum? Talk about
your something doing every minute! Say, it will look like open time
around that shack. Burlesquers are canceled. They can't come into the
home. Well, they never have much of a home anyway, so they don't miss
much.

"Burlesque is sure one strenuous existence. Mother made me quit. That
and the doctor telling me that I would ruin myself standing around a
draughty stage in tights. And besides those burlesque stage hands
certainly are cruel. Why, you have to put the money right in their hand
before they will beat it across the alley for a can of suds. If that
ain't cruelty I don't know what is. Do they think us girls would enjoy
our refreshment if we have to pay for it ourselves. Why, it hasn't got
the same flavor. Do you think a girl lacks class when she puts salt in
her beer?

"That home will be a great thing. Imagine going home every night without
wondering if your room is locked and the landlady sitting on your trunks
at the top landing. You can just flounce into your nest any old time and
know that everything is right there, unless one crafty girl has bribed
the chambermaid for the key. You can never tell about those people. Why,
I know one girl who kept stealing hairs out of the different wigs in the
dressing-rooms until she had enough to make a Dutch braid, and then she
put on such a front and chest that she wouldn't speak to any of the
other girls should she happen to meet them socially. I have always