All right, frame it up for me and I'll open wine or a window or
something to show that I'm a true sport."

"You bet I will, and we'll have a nice little family party, no knocking
or nothing; just sit and talk real friendly like."

"That's the idea and if anyone starts the anvil chorus they get the
skiddo. What? Who will we have?"

"Well, let's see, we'll have Tessie and you, me and Silent Murphy
here--and let's see who else?"

"Joe Zeweibaum and Miss Veronique."

"Not yet. Joe is all right in a crowd if you can keep him from talking
about his sales, but the dame--not for me, for if there's any one gets
my goat she's it."

"Shall we have Frank Millar and his first wife?"

"Oh, heavings! No! For if we did his third wife would hear about it and
then she would knock me to my husband, for you know they are engaged, so
if she hears anything about me you can bet she plays it up strong."

"Well, can't you think of some one else?"

"No, I don't know a soul that is any good but us four. My goodness, I've
got to roll my hoop and do a shopping number, get my hair gargled--I
slept in it last night--and see a sick friend.

"Fate sure does sic tribulations on me at every turn of the road. This
business of hunting employment has got to be so balmy that I snort and
jump sideways every time anybody says 'job.'

"Now that the first of the year has kicked in, I thought everything
would be as merry as a marriage bell, but as yet there hasn't been a
ripple on the water. The only thing that acts as a star of hope to my
miserable existence is a date with a Summer stock that opens the first
of June, and there is a heap of smoke around that. I wish some one would
tip me off to some way of earning an honest living without having to
resort to a sock full of sand or a strong arm. But why be downhearted? I
haven't drunk up all my Christmas presents yet. As a last hope I can
load upon them and get some kind ambulance to drag me up to the dippy
department of some nice hospital. Honest, I am getting so thin that
before long I won't be able to understudy a drop of water in Mr. Hawk's
Hippodrome.

"A nice gentleman presented himself to me on Broadway the other evening
and, after passing the compliments of the season, invited me out to
inhale a young table d'hote. The way I sprang to his side made a leap
for life seem like sinful idleness. And where do you think he took me? I
ask as a friend, Where do you think he took me? To one of those jo