by-bearded,
hump-back'd, gor-belly'd, bandy-legg'd Fellow.

_Ma._ You tell me of a mere _Thersites_.

_Pa._ Nay, they said he had but one Ear, neither.

_Ma._ It may be he had lost the other in the War.

_Pa._ No, he lost it in Peace.

_Ma._ Who dar'd to cut it off?

_Pa. Jack Ketch._

_Ma._ It may be his Riches made Amends.

_Pa._ Over Head and Ears in Debt. And with this Husband this charming
Girl now spends her Days, and is now and then drubb'd into the Bargain.

_Ma._ That is a miserable Story indeed.

_Pa._ But it is a true one. It is a just Retaliation upon her, for
slighting the young Gentleman.

_Ma._ I should rather chuse to be thunder-struck than ty'd to endure
such a Husband.

_Pa._ Then don't provoke Justice, but love him that loves you.

_Ma._ Well, if that will do, I do love you again.

_Pa._ Ay, But I would have that Love constant as mine own. I court a
Wife, not a Mistress.

_Ma._ I suppose so, but yet we ought to be very deliberate in that which
being once done, can never be undone again.

_Pa._ I have been deliberating too long already.

_Ma._ Love is none of the best Advisers; see that he han't impos'd upon
you, for they say he is blind.

_Pa._ But that Love has Eyes in his Head, that proceeds from Judgment;
you don't appear so amiable, only because I love you, but you are really
so, and therefore I love you.

_Ma._ But perhaps you don't know me thoroughly. When once a Shoe is on,
then you'll know where it pinches.

_Pa._ I'll venture it, but I gather from many Conjectures, that it will
be happy for me.

_Ma._ What, are you an Augur then?

_Pa._ Yes, I am.

_Ma._ Pray by what Auguries do you prognosticate all this? What, hath
the Night Owl appear'd luckily?

_Pa._ She flies for Fools.

_Ma._ Did you see a pair of Pigeons on your right Hand?

_Pa._ Nothing of all this. But have for some Years been satisfy'd of the
Honesty of your Father and Mother; and in the first Place, that's no bad
Sign. Nor am I ignorant how modestly and religiously you have been
brought up by them, and it is a greater Advantage to be honestly
educated, than honourably born. And then there's another good
Circumstance besides, that as my Parents are none of the worst, so yours
and mine have been very intimate for many Years, and you and I have
known one another from our very Childhood, as they use to say; and
besides all this, our Humours agree very well together. Our Age,
Fortunes, Quality, and