nably_. Knocked at the
door--Good-morning, Herr Prof. please what do we want for the lesson
to-day? He very civilly: Nothing particular to-day. Well, what sort of
a Christmas did you have--I: Thank you, much as usual.--He turned round
and stared at me: It does not seem to have been; to judge from your
manner. --I: There are quite other reasons for that. He: O-o-h? He may
well say O-o-h! For he has not the least idea that I know the way in
which he speaks of us.

January 6th. To-day Hella was able to go out for her first drive. She's
much better now and will come back to school by the middle of the month.
I _must_ tell her before that or she'll get a shock. Yesterday she
asked: Does not S. C. ask about me any more?--Oh yes, I fibbed, but not
so often as before. And she said: That's the way it goes, out of sight
out of mind. What will happen when she learns the truth. Anyhow I shan't
tell her until she's quite strong.

January 10th. I've had to tell Hella already. She was talking so
enthusiastically about S. G. At first I said nothing. And then she said:
What are you making such a face for? Are not you allowed to arrange the
things any more?--I: _Allowed_? Of course I'm _allowed_, but I don't
_want_ to any more. I did not tell Hella _how_ bad I feel about it; for
I really _was_ madly in love with him.

January 12th. Hella must have been madly in love with him too or rather
must be in love with him still. On Sunday evening she was so much upset
that her mother believed she was going to have a relapse. She had pains
and diarrea at the same time. Thank goodness she's got over it like
me. She said to-day: Don't let's bother ourselves about it any more. We
wasted our feelings (not love!!) on an unworthy object. At such moments
she is magnificent, especially now when she is still so pale. Besides in
the holidays and now since she has been ill she has grown tremendously.
Before I was a little taller and now she is a quarter head taller than
me. Dora is frightfully annoyed because I am nearly as tall as she is.
Thank goodness it makes me look older than 12 1/2.

Hella is not to come to school on January 15th, for her mother is going
to take her to Tyrol for 2 or 3 weeks.

January 18th. It's horridly dull with Hella away. Only now do I realise,
since her illness. I am always feeling as if she had fallen ill again.
Her mother has taken her to Meran, they are coming back in the beginning
of February.

January 24th. Since Hell