Conservatoire, the schools of art, the Sorbonne--there are found
concentration, competition, and keenness enough. But the foreign student
of singing does not ordinarily come into contact with these
institutions. In the Paris vocal studios, as I know them, there is a
dissipation instead of a conservation of energy. The students expect to
win the crown without running the race, and money and influence play too
great a role. They (vocal students, I mean) tend to exaggerate their
little emotions into _grandes passions_, and hold the most
disproportionate views of their own importance. I do not mean to say
that I agree with a certain singer who brought back harrowing tales of
immorality among American students in Europe. Amongst all the hundreds
of vocal students I have known, I never met one case of flagrant
misbehaviour. In general the girls live quietly and strive according to
their lights, though there is not one in twenty with resolution enough
to concentrate on the hard work necessary for a great career. The
temptation is to fritter away both time and money on the things that
don't matter.

CHAPTER VI

PREPARING ROLES IN BERLIN

The first of September, without a word of German, I set out for Berlin.
My mother had come over during the preceding Spring, to make her home in
Paris with my sculptor brother Cecil and my sister. From this time on I
went to them for the summers, and my sister joined me when I went to
Metz, and has never left me since. It made it harder to leave both
family and Paris behind and go into an unknown land, but I felt it to be
the best way.

Lilli Lehmann's studio was my objective point. I found her address in a
musical journal, and armed with that, and the address of an inexpensive
_pension_, I took the train. Arrived in Berlin, I took a _Droschke_,
directing the driver to my pension by showing him the street and number
on a piece of paper. Somewhere between that _Droschke_ and my room, my
travelling clock got lost, and what a time I had to recover it! The
apple-cheeked maid knew of the existence of no other language beside
her own. In vain I made a pendulum of my finger and tirelessly repeated
"tick, tick"--no gleam of intelligence dawned in her Prussian blue eyes.

The first few days brought a series of disappointments. The Lehmann idea
had to be abandoned. She was out of town and recommended me by letter to
a certain Herr----, to whom she was sending every one who applied to
her.