t the health of
Herr Strassenbahnsinspektor Braun, from his wife the Frau
Strassenbahnsinspektorin (street car inspectoress). Modern life is too
crowded perhaps for such lengthy addresses, but Frau Meyer and Herr
Braun are certainly less picturesque cognomens. Among the artistocracy
the proper titles and forms of address have many pitfalls for the
foreigner, though I used to dodge them fairly successfully by addressing
every woman older than myself as "_Gnaedige Frau_" irrespective of her
"handle," and the men by no title at all, except in the case of a prince
not of royal blood, who has to be called by the mouth-filling courtesy
title of _Durchlaucht_.

Of course in letter-writing this way round is not always possible, and
here the complications are simply terrifying. The salutation of a lady
without any title at all ranges all the way from "Wertes Fraeulein"
(Worthy Miss), almost an insult to a person of any gentility, to the
punctilious "Hochvereherte und gnaedige Frau" (Highly honoured and
gracious lady) of high society. Even the envelope provides a subtle form
of insult or of flattery. In Germany one is simply born, well-born,
highly well-born, or high born as the case may be. If you are rightly
entitled to the third, how irritating to be publicly branded on the
outside of a letter as only well-born. On the other hand, if you really
belong among the merely born, what a delicate attention to be
acknowledged "_Hochwohlgeborene_" for all the world, including the
_Portier's Frau_ to see! Shops in writing to you (as long as your credit
is good) love to employ the latter on the envelope, repeat it in the
body of the letter which always begins "Highly honoured and gracious
Miss" and sign themselves "Mit Vorzueglicher Hochachtung"--"with
magnificent respect." Friends, of course, call you just Fraeulein
So-and-so, as we should say "Miss Brown," except if they are young men,
when they usually stick to the "gracious Miss." You must never inquire
for the members of a person's family without the Mr., Mrs., or Miss
being added: "How is your Frau Mother, Herr Father, or Fraeulein Sister?"
There is a curious phrase for parents--"How are your _Herren_ Parents?"
being the strictly correct form of question.

Yes! Etiquette is very complicated in Germany and requires a great deal
of study from the "Out-lander."

To return to the theatre--we expected that my sister would have the run
of my dressing-room, and that she might be presen