do
now? Must I comfort you or scold you? Why do you hide your pain from me
as if we did not know each other by this time? You are so deep that you
do not believe your closest friend, or trust even the most trustworthy;
or do you not know that the hidden fire burns stronger?... And for the
rest, my Servatius, what is it makes you draw in and hide yourself like
a snail? I suspect what the matter is: you have not yet convinced
yourself that I love you very much. So I entreat you by the things
sweetest to you in life, by our great love, if you have any care for
your safety, if you want me to live unharmed, not to be at such pains to
hide your feelings, but whatever it is, entrust it to my safe ears. I
will assist you in whatever way I can with help or counsel. But if I
cannot provide either, still it will be sweet to rejoice with you, to
weep with you, to live and die with you. Farewell, my Servatius, and
look after your health.

II. TO NICHOLAS WERNER[23]

Paris, 13 September [1496]

To the religious Father Nicholas Werner, greetings:

... If you are all well there, things are as I wish and hope; I myself
am very well, the gods be thanked. I have now made clear by my
actions--if it was not clear to anyone before this--how much theology is
coming to mean to me. A somewhat arrogant claim; but it ill becomes
Erasmus to hide anything from his most loving Father. Lately I had
fallen in with certain Englishmen, of noble birth, and all of them
wealthy. Very recently I was approached by a young priest,[24] very
rich, who said he had refused a bishopric offered him, as he knew that
he was not well educated; nevertheless he is to be recalled by the King
to take a bishopric within a year, although, apart from any bishopric
even, he has a yearly income of more than 2000 _scudi_. As soon as he
heard of my learning he proceeded in unbelievably affectionate fashion
to devote himself to me, to frequent and revere me--he lived for a while
in my house. He offered 100 _scudi_, if I would teach him for a year; he
offered a benefice in a few months' time; he offered to lend me 300
_scudi_, if I should need them to procure the office, until I could pay
them back out of the benefice. By this service I could have laid all the
English in this city under an obligation to me--they are all of the
first families--and through them all England, had I so wished. But I
cared nothing for the splendid income and the far more splendid
prospects; I ca