ll not permit; and, on the other
hand, do not be self-indulgent!"
"Like as a star
That maketh not haste,
That taketh not rest,
Be each one pursuing
His God-given hest."
[Footnote 2: See "Record of a Year's Reading." 6_d_. Mowbray.]
"Get up, M. le Comte!"
You have all been considering what qualities are most necessary in family
life and what qualities are most to be deprecated--you have, in short,
been considering Dr. Johnson's question as to what makes "a clubbable
person." I find, on comparing your suggestions, that there are
thirty-eight things to avoid in home life (which suggests complexity);
however, each of you was to confine her attention to three virtues and
three failings, so in giving you my own likes and dislikes, I will not
dwell on more than three.
I will not take manifest faults like irritability or selfishness--we all
strive against those, but I would suggest turns of mind that are often not
realized as faults:--
I.--_The Benevolent Despot_ who takes infinite trouble for your help or
pleasure, but insists on your enjoying yourself in _her_ way. (The young
very often do this to the old or to the invalid, quite forgetting that
one's own way loses none of its charm, even in age or illness!)
II.--Then there is the _Peter Grievous_ who cannot stand a word of
reproof; she is aggrieved or huffy or sulky in a minute--she thinks that
she has a delicate sense of justice, and that she does well to be angry;
she feels as if her mother took a curious and selfish enjoyment in finding
fault with her,--whereas the poor mother has to take her courage in both
hands before saying anything calculated to bring on those black looks.
III.--And then there is _The Snail_, always slow, generally late, and
frequently a martyr--she has to be spoken to so often that her case
usually develops into the Peter Grievous disease as well. For if a mother
speaks, let us say, six times--in the daughter's mind it ceases to be
reproof, and becomes Nagging. It never occurs to the daughter that she
sinned six times (or even shall we say eight or ten?); she feels that she
is being nagged at, and may therefore cease to attend, and may enjoy a
grievance into the bargain!
Now, I have slow friends who really suffer from a sense of their failing,
and who realize acutely what they make others suffer; they were not
trained at first to pull themselves together and to collect beforehand any
materials they w
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