a man of
enlightenment, has consistently upheld the principles of Free Trade.
Not only are our exports of cotton piece goods, bibles, rum, and beads
constantly increasing, but they are more than offset by our importation
from Kowfat of ivory, rubber, gold, and oil. In short, we have never
seen the principles of Free Trade better illustrated. The Shriek, it is
now reported, refuses to wear the braces presented to him by our envoy
at the time of his coronation five years ago. He is said to have thrown
them into the mud. But we have no reason to suppose that this is meant
as a blow at our prestige. It may be that after five years of use the
little pulleys of the braces no longer work properly. We have ourselves
in our personal life known instances of this, and can speak of the sense
of irritation occasioned. Even we have thrown on the floor ours. And in
any case, as we have often reminded our readers, what is prestige? If
any one wants to hit us, let him hit us right there. We regard a blow at
our trade as far more deadly than a blow at our prestige.

"The situation as we see it demands immediate reparation on our part.
The principal grievance of the Shriek arises from the existence of our
fort and garrison on the Kowfat river. Our proper policy is to knock
down the fort, and either remove the garrison or give it to the Shriek.
We are convinced that as soon as the Shriek realises that we are
prepared to treat him in the proper Christian spirit, he will at once
respond with true Mohammedan generosity.

"We have further to remember that in what we do we are being observed by
the neighbouring tribes, the Negritos, the Dwarf Men, and the Dog Men of
Darfur. These are not only shrewd observers but substantial customers.
The Dwarf Men at present buy all their cotton on the Manchester market
and the Dog Men depend on us for their soap.

"The present crisis is one in which the nation needs statesmanship and a
broad outlook upon the world. In the existing situation we need not the
duplicity of a Machiavelli, but the commanding prescience of a Gladstone
or an Alfred the Great, or a Julius Caesar. Luckily we have exactly this
type of man at the head of affairs."

After completing the above I set to work without delay on a similar
exercise for the London Times. The special excellence of the Times, as
everybody knows is its fulness of information. For generations past the
Times has commanded a peculiar minuteness of knowledge about