the meeting is about or who the speaker is. I noticed
on this occasion that he introduced me very guardedly by name (from a
little card) and said nothing about the Belgians, and nothing about my
being (supposed to be) a humourist. This last was a great error. The
audience, for want of guidance, remained very silent and decorous, and
well behaved during my talk. Then, somehow, at the end, while some one
was moving a vote of thanks, the chairman discovered his error. So he
tried to make it good. Just as the audience were getting up to put on
their wraps, he rose, knocked on his desk and said:

"Just a minute, please, ladies and gentlemen, just a minute. I have just
found out--I should have known it sooner, but I was late in coming to
this meeting--that the speaker who has just addressed you has done so in
behalf of the Belgian Relief Fund. I understand that he is a well-known
Canadian humourist (ha! ha!) and I am sure that we have all been
immensely amused (ha! ha!). He is giving his delightful talks (ha!
ha!)--though I didn't know this till just this minute--for the Belgian
Relief Fund, and he is giving his services for nothing. I am sure when
we realise this, we shall all feel that it has been well worth while to
come. I am only sorry that we didn't have a better turn out to-night.
But I can assure the speaker that if he will come again, we shall
guarantee him a capacity audience. And I may say, that if there are any
members of this association who have not paid their dollar this season,
they can give it either to myself or to Mr. Sibley as they pass out."

With the amount of accumulated experience that I had behind me I was
naturally interested during my lecture in England in the chairmen who
were to introduce me. I cannot help but feel that I have acquired a fine
taste in chair men. I know them just as other experts know old furniture
and Pekinese dogs. The witty chairman, the prosy chairman, the solemn
chairman,--I know them all. As soon as I shake hands with the chairman
in the Committee room I can tell exactly how he will act.

There are certain types of chairmen who have so often been described and
are so familiar that it is not worth while to linger on them. Everybody
knows the chairman who says; "Now, ladies and gentlemen, you have not
come here to listen to me. So I will be very brief; in fact, I will
confine my remarks to just one or two very short observations." He then
proceeds to make observations for twe