trains,
and not wait for the midnight express. Well, Pa he got asleep, and
he slept till about eight o'clock in the morning, and the blinds were
closed, and it was dark in his room, and I had to wait for my breakfast
till I was hungry as a wolf, and the girl told me to wake Pa up, so I
went up stairs, and I don't know what made me think of it, but I had
some of this powder they make red fire with in the theatre, that me
and my chum had the 4th of July, and I put it in a washdish in the
bath-room, and I touched it off and hollered fire. I was going to wake
Pa up and tell him it was all right, and laugh at him. I guess there
was too much fire, or I yelled too loud, cause Pa jumped out of bed and
grabbed a rope and rushed through the hall towards the back window, that
goes out on a shed. I tried to say something, but Pa ran over me and
told me to save myself, and I got to the back window to tell him there
was no fire just as he let himself out the window He had one end of the
rope tied to the leg of the washstand, and he was climbing down the back
side of the shed by the kitchen, with nothing on but his nightshirt, and
he was the horriblest looking object ever was, with his legs flying and
trying to stick his toenails into the rope and the side of the house."

[Illustration: Pa's Fire escape p169]

"I dont think a man looks well in society with nothing on but his
nightshirt. I didn't blame the hired girls for being scared when they
saw Pa and his legs coming down outside the window, and when they yelled
I went down to the kitchen, and they said a crazy man with no clothes
but a pillow slip around his neck was trying to kick the window in,
and they run into the parlor, and I opened the door and let Pa in the
kitchen. He asked me if anybody else was saved and then I told him there
was no fire, and he must have dreamed he was in hell, or somewhere. Well
Pa was astonished, and said he must be wrong in the head, and I left him
thawing himself by the stove while I went after his pants, and his legs
were badly chilled, but I guess nothin' was froze. He lays it all to
Ma, and says if she would stay at home and let people run their own baby
shows, there would be more comfort in the house. Ma came in with a shawl
over her head, and a bowl full of something that smelled frowy, and
after she had told us what the result of her visit was, she sent me
after vaseline to rub Pa's legs. Pa says that he has demonstrated that
if a man is coo