l and collected, in case of fire, and goes deliberately
at work to save himself, he will come out all right."

"Well, you are the meanest boy I ever heard of," said the grocery man.
"But what about your Pa's dancing a clog dance in church Sunday? The
minister's hired girl was in here after some codfish yesterday morning,
and she said the minister said your Pa had scandalized the church the
worst way."

"O, he didn't dance in church. He was a little excited, that's all. You
see, Pa chews tobacco, and it is pretty hard on him to sit all through
a sermon without taking a chew, and he gets nervous. He always reaches
around in his pistol pocket, when they stand up to sing the last time,
and feels in his tobacco box and gets out a chew, and puts it in his
mouth when the minister pronounces the benediction, and then when they
get out doors he is all ready to spit. He always does that. Well, my
chum had a present, on Christmas, of a music box, just about as big as
Pa's tobacco box, and all you have to do is to touch a spring and it
plays, 'She's a Daisy, She's a Dumpling.' I borrowed it and put it in
Pa's pistol pocket, where he keeps his tobacco box, and when the choir
got most through singing Pa reached his hand in his pocket and began to
fumble around for a chew. He touched the spring, and just as everybody
bowed their heads to receive the benediction, and it was so still you
could hear a gum drop, the music box began to play, and in the stillness
it sounded as loud as a church organ. Well, I thought Ma would sink. The
minister heard it, and everybody looked at Pa, too, and Pa turned red,
and the music box kept up, 'She's a Daisy,' and the minister looked mad
and said 'Amen,' and the people began to put on their coats, and the
minister told the deacon to hunt up the source of that worldly music,
and they took Pa into the room back of the pulpit and searched him, and
Ma says Pa will have to be churched. They kept the music box, and I have
got to carry in coal to get money enough to buy my chum a new music box.
Well, I shall have to go and get that vaseline or Pa's legs will suffer.
Good day."

CHAPTER XXXIII.

HIS PA JOKES HIM. THE BAD BOY CAUGHT AT LAST--HOW TO GROW A
MOUSTACHE--TAR AND CAYENNE PEPPER--THE GROCERYMAN'S PATE IS
SEALED--FATHER AND SON JOIN IN A PRACTICAL JOKE--SOFT SOAP
ON THE STEPS--DOWN FALL OF MINISTERS AND DEACONS--MA TO THE
RESCUE!--THE BAD BOY GETS EVEN WITH HIS PA.