ne of them a little and looked at Pa> Pa was tickled at the
parrot, but when the minister looked at Pa as though it was him that was
making irreverent remarks, Pa was mad.

"The minister got to the 'Amen,' and Polly shook hisself and said 'What
you giving us?' and the minister got up and brushed the bird seed
off his knees, and he looked mad. I thought Ma would sink with
mortification, and I was sitting on a piano stool, looking as pious as
a Sunday school superintendent the Sunday before he skips out with the
bank's funds; and Ma looked at me as though she thought it was me that
had been tampering with the parrot. Gosh, I never said a word to that
parrot, and I can prove it by my chum.

"Well, the minister asked one of the sisters if she wouldn't pray, and
she wasn't engaged, so she said with pleasure, and she kneeled down,
but she corked herself, 'cause she got one knee on a cast iron dumb bell
that I had been practising with. She said 'O my,' in a disgusted sort
of a way, and then she began to pray for the reformation of the youth
of the land, and asked for the spirit to descend on the household, and
particularly on the boy that was such a care and anxiety to his parents,
and just then Polly said, 'O, pull down your vest.' Well, you'd a dide
to see that woman look at me. The parrot cage was partly behind the
window curtain, and they couldn't see it, and she thought it was me. She
looked at Ma as though she was wondering why she didn't hit me with a
poker, but she went on, and Polly said, 'wipe off your chin,' and then
the lady got through and got up, and told Ma it must be a great trial to
have an idiotic child, and then Ma she was mad and said it wasn't half
so bad as it was to be a kleptomaniac, and then the woman got up and
said she wouldn't stay no longer, and Pa said to me to take that parrot
out doors, and that seemed to make them all good natured again. Ma said
to take the parrot and give it to the poor. I took the cage and pointed
my finger at the parrot and it looked at the woman and said 'old
catamaran,' and the woman tried to look pious and resigned, but she
couldn't. As I was going out the door the parrot ruffed up his feathers
and said 'Dammit, set em up,' and I hurried out with the cage for fear
he would say something bad, and the folks all held up their hands and
said it was scandalous. Say, I wonder if a parrot can go to hell with
the rest of the community. Well, I put the parrot in the woodshed, and