ama is only equalled by his ignorance of the means.

* * * * *

Since the dissolution of Parliament, Lord Melbourne has confined himself
entirely to _stews_.

Stalls have been fitted up in the Royal nursery for the reception of two
Alderney cows, preparatory to the weaning of the infant Princess; which
delicate duty Mrs. Lilly commences on Monday next.

Sir Robert Peel has been seen several times this week in close
consultation with the chief cook. Has he been offered the
_premiership_?

Mr. Moreton Dyer, "_the amateur turner_," has been a frequent visitor
at the palace of late. Palmerston, it is whispered, has been receiving
lessons in the art. We are surprised to hear this, for we always
considered his lordship a Talleyrand in _turning_.

* * * * *

A QUARTER-DAY COGITATION.

(WRITTEN ON THE BACK OF A "NOTED" TAILOR'S BILL.)

By winter's chill the fragrant flower is nipp'd,
To be new-clothed with brighter tints in spring;
The blasted tree of verdant leaves is stripp'd,
A fresher foliage on each branch to bring;

The aerial songster moults his plumerie,
To vie in sleekness with each feather'd brother:
A twelvemonth's wear hath ta'en thy nap from thee,
My seedy coat!--When shall I get another?

NOTE.--Confiding tailors are entreated to send their addresses, pre-paid,
to PUNCH'S office.

P.S.--None need apply who _refuse_ three years' acceptances. If the
bills be made _renewable_, by agreement, "continuations" will be
taken in any quantity.--FITZROY FIPS.

* * * * *

STREET POLITICS.

A DRAMATIC DIALOGUE BETWEEN PUNCH AND HIS STAGE MANAGER.

(_Enter_ PUNCH.)

PUNCH.--R-r-r-roo-to-tooit-tooit?

(_Sings._)

"Wheel about and turn about,
And do jes so;
Ebery time I turn about,
I jump Jim Crow."

MANAGER.--Hollo, Mr. Punch! your voice is rather husky to-day.

PUNCH.--Yes, yes; I've been making myself as hoarse as a hog, bawling to
the free and independent electors of Grogswill all the morning. They have
done me the honour to elect me as their representative in Parliament. I'm
an M.P. now.

MANAGER.--An M.P.! Gammon, Mr. Punch.

THE DOG TOBY.--Bow, wow, wow, wough, wough!

PUNCH.--Fact, upon my honour. I'm at this moment an unit in the collective
stupidity of the nation.

DOG TOBY.--R-r-r-r-r-r--wough--wough!

PUNCH.--Kick that dog, somebody. Hang the cur,