Saturdays; because
They dined extr'ordinary cheap at five o'clock:
When there were met members of the Dram. A. Soc.
Those of the sock and buskin, artists, court gazetteers--
Odd fellows all--_odder_ than all their club compeers.
Some were sub-editors, others reporters,
And more _illuminati_, joke-importers.
The club was heterogen'ous
By strangers seen as
A refuge for destitute _bons mots_--
_Depot_ for leaden jokes and pewter pots;
Repertory for gin and _jeux d'esprit_,
Literary pound for vagrant rapartee;
Second-hand shop for left-off witticisms;
Gall'ry for Tomkins and Pitt-icisms;[3]
Foundling hospital for every bastard pun;
In short, a manufactory for all sorts of fun!
* * * *
Arouse my muse! such pleasing themes to quit,
Hear me while I say
"_Donnez-moi du frenzy, s'il vous plait!_"[4]
Give me a most tremendous fit
Of indignation, a wild volcanic ebullition,
Or deep anathema,
Fatal as J--d's bah!
To hurl excisemen downward to perdition.
May genial gin no more delight _their_ throttles--
_Their_ casks grow leaky, bottomless _their_ bottles;
May smugglers _run_, and they ne'er make a seizure;
May _they_--I'll curse them further at my leisure.
But for our club,
"Ay, there's the rub."
"We mourn it dead in its father's halls:"[5]--
The sporting prints are cut down from the walls;
No stuffing there,
Not even in a chair;
The spirits are all _ex_(or)_cised_,
The coffee-cups capsized,
The coffee _fine_-d, the snuff all taken,
The mild Havannahs are by lights forsaken:
The utter ruin of the club's achieven--
Our very chess-boards are ex-_chequered_ even.
"Where is our club?" X--sighs,[6] and with a stare
Like to another echo, answers "Where?"

[1] "Ye jocal nine," a happy modification of "Ye vocal nine."
The nine here so classically invocated are manifestly nine
of the members of the late club, consisting of, 1. Mr. D--s
J--d. 2. The subject of the engraving, treasurer and
store-keeper. 3. Mr. G--e S--h, sub-ed. J---- B----. 4. Mr.
B--d, Mem. Dram. Author's Society. 5. C--s S--y, ditto. 6.
Mr. C--e. 7. Mr. C--s, T--s, late of the firm of T--s and
P--t. 8. Mr. J--e A--n, Mem. Soc. British Artists. 9, and
lastly, "though not least," the author of "You loved me not
in happier