windled down to that, sure_ly_! I couldn't bear to see your hump and
_pars pendula_ (that's dog Latin) shrunk up like dried almonds, and
titivated out in msty-fusty toggery--I'm sure I couldn't! The very thought
of it is like a pound weight at the end of my tail.

I whined like any thing, calling to my missus--for you must know that I've
married as handsome a Scotch terrier as you ever see. "Vixen," says I,
"here's the poor old governor up at last--I knew that Police Act would
drive him to something desperate."

"Why he hasn't hung himself in earnest, and summoned you on his inquest!"
exclaimed Mrs. T.

"Worse nor that," says I; "he's turned author, and in course is stewed up
in some wery elevated apartment during this blessed season of the year,
when all nature is wagging with delight, and the fairs is on, and the
police don't want nothing to do to warm 'em, and consequentially sees no
harm in a muster of infantry in bye-streets. It's very hawful."

Vixen sighed and scratched her ear with her right leg, so I know'd she'd
something in her head, for she always does that when anything tickles her.
"Toby," says she, "go and see the old gentleman; perhaps it might comfort
him to larrup you a little."

"Very well," says I, "I'll be off at once; so put me by a bone or two for
supper, should any come out while I'm gone; and if you can get the puppies
to sleep before I return, I shall be so much obleeged to you." Saying
which, I toddled off for Wellington-street. I had just got to the
coach-stand at Hyde Park Corner, when who should I see labelled as a
waterman but the one-eyed chap we once had as a orchestra--he as could
only play "Jim Crow" and the "Soldier Tired." Thinks I, I may as well pass
the compliment of the day with him; so I creeps under the hackney-coach he
was standing alongside on, intending to surprise him; but just as I was
about to pop out he ran off the stand to un-nosebag a cab-horse. Whilst I
was waiting for him to come back, I hears the off-side horse in the
wehicle make the following remark:--

OFF-SIDE HORSE--(_twisting his tail about like anything_)--Curse the
flies!

NEAR-SIDE HORSE.--You may say that. I've had one fellow tickling me this
half-hour.

OFF-SIDE HORSE.--Ours is a horrid profession! Phew! the sun actually
penetrates my vertebra.

NEAR-SIDE HORSE.--Werterbee! What's that?

OFF-SIDE HORSE--(_impatiently_).--The spine, my friend (_whish!
whish!_)

NEAR-SIDE HORSE.--Ah! it is a sh