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you the ten pounds this moment with all my heart and soul.-- Brother Toby, replied my father, altering his tone, you care not what money you dissipate and throw away, provided, continued he, 'tis but upon a Siege.--Have I not one hundred and twenty pounds a year, besides my half pay? cried my uncle Toby.--What is that--replied my father hastily--to ten pounds for a pair of jack-boots?--twelve guineas for your pontoons?--half as much for your Dutch draw-bridge?--to say nothing of the train of little brass artillery you bespoke last week, with twenty other preparations for the siege of Messina: believe me, dear brother Toby, continued my father, taking him kindly by the hand--these military operations of yours are above your strength;--you mean well brother--but they carry you into greater expences than you were first aware of;--and take my word, dear Toby, they will in the end quite ruin your fortune, and make a beggar of you.--What signifies it if they do, brother, replied my uncle Toby, so long as we know 'tis for the good of the nation?-- My father could not help smiling for his soul--his anger at the worst was never more than a spark;--and the zeal and simplicity of Trim--and the generous (though hobby-horsical) gallantry of my uncle Toby, brought him into perfect good humour with them in an instant. Generous souls!--God prosper you both, and your mortar-pieces too! quoth my father to himself. Chapter 2.XVI. All is quiet and hush, cried my father, at least above stairs--I hear not one foot stirring.--Prithee Trim, who's in the kitchen? There is no one soul in the kitchen, answered Trim, making a low bow as he spoke, except Dr. Slop.--Confusion! cried my father (getting upon his legs a second time)--not one single thing has gone right this day! had I faith in astrology, brother, (which, by the bye, my father had) I would have sworn some retrograde planet was hanging over this unfortunate house of mine, and turning every individual thing in it out of its place.--Why, I thought Dr. Slop had been above stairs with my wife, and so said you.--What can the fellow be puzzling about in the kitchen!--He is busy, an' please your honour, replied Trim, in making a bridge.--'Tis very obliging in him, quoth my uncle Toby:--pray, give my humble service to Dr. Slop, Trim, and tell him I thank him heartily. You must know, my uncle Toby mistook the bridge--as widely as my father mistook the mortars:--but to understand
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