dds one to the chapter--replied my father.

The double success of my father's repartees tickled off the pain of his
shin at once--it was well it so fell out--(chance! again)--or the world
to this day had never known the subject of my father's calculation--to
guess it--there was no chance--What a lucky chapter of chances has this
turned out! for it has saved me the trouble of writing one express, and
in truth I have enough already upon my hands without it.--Have not I
promised the world a chapter of knots? two chapters upon the right
and the wrong end of a woman? a chapter upon whiskers? a chapter upon
wishes?--a chapter of noses?--No, I have done that--a chapter upon my
uncle Toby's modesty? to say nothing of a chapter upon chapters, which I
will finish before I sleep--by my great grandfather's whiskers, I shall
never get half of 'em through this year.

Take pen and ink in hand, and calculate it fairly, brother Toby, said my
father, and it will turn out a million to one, that of all the parts of
the body, the edge of the forceps should have the ill luck just to fall
upon and break down that one part, which should break down the fortunes
of our house with it.

It might have been worse, replied my uncle Toby.--I don't comprehend,
said my father.--Suppose the hip had presented, replied my uncle Toby,
as Dr. Slop foreboded.

My father reflected half a minute--looked down--touched the middle of
his forehead slightly with his finger--

--True, said he.

Chapter 2.XLV.

Is it not a shame to make two chapters of what passed in going down one
pair of stairs? for we are got no farther yet than to the first landing,
and there are fifteen more steps down to the bottom; and for aught I
know, as my father and my uncle Toby are in a talking humour, there may
be as many chapters as steps:--let that be as it will, Sir, I can no
more help it than my destiny:--A sudden impulse comes across me--drop
the curtain, Shandy--I drop it--Strike a line here across the paper,
Tristram--I strike it--and hey for a new chapter.

The deuce of any other rule have I to govern myself by in this
affair--and if I had one--as I do all things out of all rule--I would
twist it and tear it to pieces, and throw it into the fire when I had
done--Am I warm? I am, and the cause demands it--a pretty story! is a
man to follow rules--or rules to follow him?

Now this, you must know, being my chapter upon chapters, which I
promised to write before I went