g the
militiating spirits of my country--the wound upon his groin, is a wound
to every comparison of that kind--nor by Trim--that I meant the duke of
Ormond--or that my book is wrote against predestination, or free-will,
or taxes--If 'tis wrote against any thing,--'tis wrote, an' please your
worships, against the spleen! in order, by a more frequent and a
more convulsive elevation and depression of the diaphragm, and the
succussations of the intercostal and abdominal muscles in laughter, to
drive the gall and other bitter juices from the gall-bladder, liver,
and sweet-bread of his majesty's subjects, with all the inimicitious
passions which belong to them, down into their duodenums.

Chapter 2.LVIII.

--But can the thing be undone, Yorick? said my father--for in my
opinion, continued he, it cannot. I am a vile canonist, replied
Yorick--but of all evils, holding suspence to be the most tormenting,
we shall at least know the worst of this matter. I hate these great
dinners--said my father--The size of the dinner is not the point,
answered Yorick--we want, Mr. Shandy, to dive into the bottom of this
doubt, whether the name can be changed or not--and as the beards of so
many commissaries, officials, advocates, proctors, registers, and of the
most eminent of our school-divines, and others, are all to meet in the
middle of one table, and Didius has so pressingly invited you--who
in your distress would miss such an occasion? All that is requisite,
continued Yorick, is to apprize Didius, and let him manage a
conversation after dinner so as to introduce the subject.--Then my
brother Toby, cried my father, clapping his two hands together, shall go
with us.

--Let my old tye-wig, quoth my uncle Toby, and my laced regimentals, be
hung to the fire all night, Trim.

(page numbering skips ten pages)

Chapter 2.LX.

--No doubt, Sir,--there is a whole chapter wanting here--and a chasm of
ten pages made in the book by it--but the book-binder is neither a fool,
or a knave, or a puppy--nor is the book a jot more imperfect (at least
upon that score)--but, on the contrary, the book is more perfect and
complete by wanting the chapter, than having it, as I shall demonstrate
to your reverences in this manner.--I question first, by-the-bye,
whether the same experiment might not be made as successfully upon
sundry other chapters--but there is no end, an' please your reverences,
in trying experiments upon chapters--we have had enou