ehind, or even on one side of me, to
see whom I trod upon!--I'll tread upon no one--quoth I to myself when I
mounted--I'll take a good rattling gallop; but I'll not hurt the poorest
jack-ass upon the road.--So off I set--up one lane--down another,
through this turnpike--over that, as if the arch-jockey of jockeys had
got behind me.

Now ride at this rate with what good intention and resolution you
may--'tis a million to one you'll do some one a mischief, if not
yourself--He's flung--he's off--he's lost his hat--he's down--he'll
break his neck--see!--if he has not galloped full among the scaffolding
of the undertaking criticks!--he'll knock his brains out against some
of their posts--he's bounced out!--look--he's now riding like a
mad-cap full tilt through a whole crowd of painters, fiddlers, poets,
biographers, physicians, lawyers, logicians, players, school-men,
churchmen, statesmen, soldiers, casuists, connoisseurs, prelates, popes,
and engineers.--Don't fear, said I--I'll not hurt the poorest jack-ass
upon the king's highway.--But your horse throws dirt; see you've
splash'd a bishop--I hope in God, 'twas only Ernulphus, said I.--But you
have squirted full in the faces of Mess. Le Moyne, De Romigny, and De
Marcilly, doctors of the Sorbonne.--That was last year, replied I.--But
you have trod this moment upon a king.--Kings have bad times on't, said
I, to be trod upon by such people as me.

You have done it, replied my accuser.

I deny it, quoth I, and so have got off, and here am I standing with my
bridle in one hand, and with my cap in the other, to tell my story.--And
what in it? You shall hear in the next chapter.

Chapter 2.LVI.

As Francis the first of France was one winterly night warming himself
over the embers of a wood fire, and talking with his first minister of
sundry things for the good of the state (Vide Menagiana, Vol. I.)--It
would not be amiss, said the king, stirring up the embers with his
cane, if this good understanding betwixt ourselves and Switzerland was
a little strengthened.--There is no end, Sire, replied the minister,
in giving money to these people--they would swallow up the treasury
of France.--Poo! poo! answered the king--there are more ways, Mons.
le Premier, of bribing states, besides that of giving money--I'll pay
Switzerland the honour of standing godfather for my next child.--Your
majesty, said the minister, in so doing, would have all the grammarians
in Europe upon your back