number of long and jolly noses, following one another in a direct
line, did not raise and hoist it up into the best vacancies in the
kingdom.--He would often boast that the Shandy family rank'd very
high in king Harry the VIIIth's time, but owed its rise to no state
engine--he would say--but to that only;--but that, like other families,
he would add--it had felt the turn of the wheel, and had never recovered
the blow of my great-grandfather's nose.--It was an ace of clubs indeed,
he would cry, shaking his head--and as vile a one for an unfortunate
family as ever turn'd up trumps.

--Fair and softly, gentle reader!--where is thy fancy carrying thee!--If
there is truth in man, by my great-grandfather's nose, I mean the
external organ of smelling, or that part of man which stands
prominent in his face--and which painters say, in good jolly noses
and well-proportioned faces, should comprehend a full third--that is,
measured downwards from the setting on of the hair.

--What a life of it has an author, at this pass!

Chapter 2.XXVII.

It is a singular blessing, that nature has form'd the mind of man with
the same happy backwardness and renitency against conviction, which is
observed in old dogs--'of not learning new tricks.'

What a shuttlecock of a fellow would the greatest philosopher that ever
existed be whisk'd into at once, did he read such books, and observe
such facts, and think such thoughts, as would eternally be making him
change sides!

Now, my father, as I told you last year, detested all this--He pick'd
up an opinion, Sir, as a man in a state of nature picks up an apple.--It
becomes his own--and if he is a man of spirit, he would lose his life
rather than give it up.

I am aware that Didius, the great civilian, will contest this point;
and cry out against me, Whence comes this man's right to this apple? ex
confesso, he will say--things were in a state of nature--The apple, is
as much Frank's apple as John's. Pray, Mr. Shandy, what patent has he
to shew for it? and how did it begin to be his? was it, when he set his
heart upon it? or when he gathered it? or when he chew'd it? or when he
roasted it? or when he peel'd, or when he brought it home? or when he
digested?--or when he--?--For 'tis plain, Sir, if the first picking up
of the apple, made it not his--that no subsequent act could.

Brother Didius, Tribonius will answer--(now Tribonius the civilian and
church lawyer's beard being three inches an