, that set this down among her vices! 325
To be slow in words is a woman's only virtue: I pray thee,
out with't, and place it for her chief virtue.

_Speed._ 'Item: She is proud.'

_Launce._ Out with that too; it was Eve's legacy, and
cannot be ta'en from her. 330

_Speed._ 'Item: She hath no teeth.'

_Launce._ I care not for that neither, because I love crusts.

_Speed._ 'Item: She is curst.'

_Launce._ Well, the best is, she hath no teeth to bite. 335

_Speed._ 'Item: She will often praise her liquor.'

_Launce._ If her liquor be good, she shall: if she will
not, I will; for good things should be praised.

_Speed._ 'Item: She is too liberal.'

_Launce._ Of her tongue she cannot, for that's writ down 340
she is slow of; of her purse she shall not, for that I'll keep
shut: now, of another thing she may, and that cannot I
help. Well, proceed.

_Speed._ 'Item: She hath more hair than wit, and more
faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults.' 345

_Launce._ Stop there; I'll have her: she was mine, and
not mine, twice or thrice in that last article. Rehearse that
once more.

_Speed._ 'Item: She hath more hair than wit,'--

_Launce._ More hair than wit? It may be; I'll prove it. 350
The cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it is more
than the salt; the hair that covers the wit is more than the
wit, for the greater hides the less. What's next?

_Speed._ 'And more faults than hairs,'--

_Launce._ That's monstrous: O, that that were out! 355

_Speed._ 'And more wealth than faults.'

_Launce._ Why, that word makes the faults gracious.
Well, I'll have her: and if it be a match, as nothing is
impossible,--

_Speed._ What then? 360

_Launce._ Why, then will I tell thee--that thy master
stays for thee at the North-gate?

_Speed._ For me?

_Launce._ For thee! ay, who art thou? he hath stayed
for a better man than thee. 365

_Speed._ And must I go to him?

_Launce._ Thou must run to him, for thou hast stayed
so long, that going will scarce serve the turn.

_Speed._ Why didst not tell me sooner? pox of your
love-letters! [_Exit._ 370

_Launce._ Now will he be swinged for reading my letter,--an
unmannerly slave, that will thrust himself into sec