the dog;
But Jim 'e says, "No go;
This 'ere'll fetch a mort o' brass for Mr. BARNUM's show!"

I grabs the little jumpin'-jack;
Says I, "It's gettin' late;
We'll shove the beggar in the sack
An' see, at any rate."
'Twas then ole Buckshot an' his crew
Come dashin' at us 'cross the dew;
The varmint bit like mad;
I shook 'im off--'e disappeared; but _I_ was fairly 'ad!

They brought me up at Thornleigh 'Eath;
I got a fortnight's stretch;
An' still I feels 'is wicked teeth,
That spiteful little wretch;
An' still my thumb 's all any'ow
In weather (as it is just now)
That's frosty, 'ard an' chill;
'Tis few things seems to do it good.... Why, thank 'ee, Sir, I will!

* * * * *

WHY OUR CHEMISTS ARE SO BRIGHT AND HEALTHY.

"Folle.--How charming to have a manicure set presented to you! When
filling it with the necessary manicure preparations, include the ----
Nail Polish, which all chemists keep; it keeps them so bright and
healthy."

_Lady's Pictorial._

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Harassed Shopman._ "Ah, Mrs. Judkins, I am having an
awful time just now. My right hand is away with a swollen foot."]

* * * * *

BILLIARDS A LA GOLF.

"I want a billiard cue," I said; "one I can travel with
comfortably--that folds up, or telescopes, or does something of that
kind, you know."

"Yes, Sir," said the salesman. "This style of cue with a secret joint
would probably suit you. It unscrews in the middle, is handy to carry,
and absolutely reliable when fitted together."

"And now about a case?"

"Yes, Sir. Do you want a case for the secret-jointed cue only, or a case
for your whole kit?"

"My whole kit?"

"Your complete set of cues, Sir."

"Never heard of such a thing."

"I assure you, Sir, that all the best people go in for sets--just as
with golf, Sir. This is a complete set; the whole, including the case,
for ten guineas." And he showed me a long green-lined mahogany box
containing foreign-looking cues (in addition to a secret-jointed one)
packed as carefully as a set of drawing instruments.

"Would you mind explaining this mystery box to me?" I asked.

"Certainly, Sir," said the obliging young man. "This set of cues has
been designed for the billiard player who spends his summer on the golf
links and comes back in the autumn to billiards with the golf-habit
highly