ile
I was gone," he said sadly, "the wind blew my manuscript and the best
part of my notes into the fire."

"How excessively unfortunate!" I murmured sympathetically. "And this
converted you to the 'cussedness' theory?"

"Yes," said he, as he stepped down to the platform. "It was the only
book I ever wrote, and it was burned practically to a cinder. It works
out you see, at exactly 100 per cent...."

* * * * *

THE EPIDEMIC.

(A French contemporary, commenting upon the fact that the sudden
appearance of cold weather in London is accompanied by an equally sudden
disappearance of cats, demonstrates the cause of this coincidence.)

What boots it, Sir, to boggle at
The truth? So be it said
Quite candidly, our Thomas-cat,
McCorquodale, is dead.

When winds from East and North conspire
To freeze the very breath,
To you it means the mere desire
To skate or sit too near the fire,
To him 'twas sudden death.

The cat that leaves the hearth and strays
Abroad is over-bold;
McCorquodale would go his ways,
Despite the frost. To use a phrase
Belittled in these careless days,
He caught his death of cold.

'Twas not from native lack of fur
That his demise was such.
We did not see the end occur,
But, though it be to cast a slur
Upon humanity, infer
(And you will catch our meaning, Sir)
He had a coat too much.

* * * * *

And now, when Northern winds are bluff
And veering to the East,
And Beauty shuns their rude rebuff
By hiding hands (and powder-puff)
Inside her Russian sable muff,
We tell ourselves, "Why, sure enough
There goes, disguised as better stuff,
McCorquodale deceased!"

* * * * *

ADVICE TO MOTHERS.

"January 20, at Kenyon-road, Wavertree, to Mr. and Mrs. Oswald
Unsworth, a son (bath well)."--_Liverpool Echo._

* * * * *

"Artists in Gentlemen's Headwear."--_Advt._

This always creates surprise. Somehow still expects to see them in
sombreros.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE HUNT BALL SEASON.

_First Nut._ "It's Miss Smith-Brown. She's all right--they're lookin'
after her."

_Second Nut_ (_pulling up_). "Good gracious, my dear chap, it's my Tango
partner!"]

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

(By Mr. Punch's Staf