on counsel, keeper of the privy purse, chancellor of
the exchequer, fighter of exorbitant bills, seamstress, linen woman,
doctor of small ills, the acme of perpetual good nature, and my best
friend.

Cheiro, when he read my palm, said he never before had seen a hand
which had less of a line of luck than mine. He said that I was obliged
to put forth tremendous effort for whatever I achieved. But that was
before Mary selected me for a mistress, for Mary was my first bit of
pure luck. Our meeting came about in this way.

We were at the Waldorf for our honeymoon, which shows how inexperienced
we were, when a chance acquaintance of the Angel's said to him one
night in the billiard-room:

"Jardine, I hear that you are going to housekeeping!"

"Yes," said Aubrey, "we are."

"Has your wife engaged a cook yet?"

"Why, no, I don't believe she has thought about it."

"Well, I know exactly the woman for her. Elderly, honest, experienced,
cooks game to perfection, doesn't drink, thoroughly competent in every
way, and the quaintest character I ever knew. Lived in her last place
twenty-three years, and only left when the family was broken up. Shall
I send her to see you?"

"Do," said Aubrey.

He forgot to tell me about it, so the next morning while he was
shaving, a knock came, and in walked Mary. I was in a kimono, writing
notes and waiting for breakfast to be sent up. Hearing voices, Aubrey
came to the door with one-half of his face covered with lather, and
said:

"Oh, yes. I forgot to tell you. Are you the cook sent by Mr.
Zanzibar?"

"Yes, sir," said Mary.

Aubrey retired to the bathroom again, communicating with me in
pantomime.

I looked at Mary, and loved her. We eyed each other in silence for a
moment.

"Won't you sit down?" I said, looking at her white hair.

"Thank you, but I'll stand."

That settled it. I didn't care if she stole the shoes off my feet if
she knew her place as well as that. Her face beamed; her skin was
fresh and rosy. Her blue eyes twinkled through her spectacles.

"Would you," I said, "would you like to take entire charge of two
orphans?"

She burst into a fit of laughter.

"Is it you and your husband, you mean?"

"It is. I wish you would come and keep house for us."

"I'd like to, Missis. I would, indeed."

Again I looked at her and loved her harder.

"Have you any references?" I asked.

"None except the recommendations of the people who have been coming t