bottles of beer.

I locked the door, and then he unloaded. Besides the beer and cream
puffs, he had four devilled crabs and two dill pickles, four club
sandwiches, some Roquefort cheese, and some Bent biscuits.

He was obliged to make one more dangerous pilgrimage to the front hall to
slam the door and hang up his hat and coat, otherwise Mary would have
gone out after him. We have such a competent cook.

Finally we sat down and gorged on that impossible mixture. We had only
Aubrey's pocket-knife, a paper-cutter, and a button-hook to eat with, and
rather than to stop and wash out his shaving-cup we drank out of the
bottles.

We ate until we felt the need of dyspepsia tablets, but still there was
some left. This Aubrey did up in a neat package, we raised the window,
turned out the lights, and threw it far, far out into the night. We
listened and heard it fall in a neighbour's back yard.

Now, if we had stopped there, all would have been well, but Fate tempted
us in the person of a vile and nasty little curly white dog, with a pink
skin and a blue ribbon around her neck, whose mistress used to lead her
up and down in front of our apartment-house every evening. She was a
very nasty little dog, badly spoiled, and we had longed to kick her for
six months, but her mistress was always there and we couldn't.

But oh, joy! On this particular night, she was in the back yard all
alone, yapping and whining to get indoors. Clearly this was the best
place for the empty beer bottles.

"Don't hit her, Aubrey. Just aim for the cement walk. That will scare
her to death."

The Angel seldom follows my wicked counsel, but this was the hand of
Providence. No one, who has not owned a big dog, can know how we hated
this miserable, pampered little cur.

So Aubrey took aim. The beer bottle hurtled through the air. We stepped
back and listened. It crashed on the walk, and such a series of agonized
yelps from the frightened little beast resulted as I never before had
heard. We clutched each other in silent ecstasy. Fortunately the pup's
mistress had not heard.

Emboldened by success we stole forth again, and shied the second bottle.
But that time Providence was against us, for, at the identical moment
that the bottle hit the corner of the house and flew into a million
pieces, the door opened and the dog's mistress appeared.

The crash was something awful. Nobody was hit or hurt, but the woman
shrieked and the Angel an