s in a crisis about which
shareholders etc. have to be consulted. I can't let my brother's
paper, that stands for all he believed in, go without doing all I
can; and I am trying to get it started again, with Belloc to run it
if possible. But the matter of our meeting has got into every chink
of my thoughts, even the pauses of talk on practical things. I could
not explain myself at that meeting; and I want to try again now.

I could not explain what I mean about my wife without saying much
more. I see in principle it is not on the same level as the true
Church; for nothing can be on the same level as God. But it is on
quite a different level from social sentiments about friends and
family. I have been a rottenly irresponsible person till I began to
wear the iron ring of Catholic responsibilities. But I really have
felt a responsibility about her, more serious than affection, let
alone passion. First, because she gave me my first respect for
sacramental Christianity; second, because she is one of the good
who mysteriously suffer. . . . .

I have, however, a more practical reason for returning to this
point. So far as my own feelings go, I think I might rightly make
application to be instructed as soon as possible; but I should not
like to take so serious a step without reopening the matter with her,
which I could do by the end of a week. I have had no opportunity
before, because she has only just recovered from an illness, and is
going away for a few days. But at about the end of next week, say,
everything ought to be ready. Meanwhile I will write to you again, as
I ought to have done before, but this tangle of business ties me up
terribly just now. Perhaps you could tell me how I could arrange
matters with some priest or religious in London, whose convenience it
would suit if I came up once or twice a week, or whatever is
required; or give me the address of someone to write to, if that is
the correct way. There are priests at High Wycombe which is nearer;
but I imagine they are very busy parochial clergy.

I had meant to write to you about the convictions involved in a
more abstract way, but I fear I have filled my letter with one
personal point. But, as I say, I will write to you again about the
other matters; and as they are more intellectual and less emotional,
I hope I may be a little more coherent.

You