s, of course, quite an
open secret that the Naval authorities are aware that one of our
largest Dreadnoughts is somewhere in a certain English harbour, but,
owing to the excellence of its camouflage, they have not yet been able
to locate it.

* * *

We now learn that it was merely through an oversight that the pit
ponies did not record their votes at the strike ballot.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "WHO'S BILL 'IGGINS PLAYIN' FOR THIS SEASON?"

"OH, 'E AIN'T SIGNED ON YET, BUT WE'VE OFFERED HIM FIRST SUCK AT THE
LEMON."]

* * * * *

=The Journalistic Touch.=

"Shamming death, he moaned loudly."

_Irish Paper._

* * * * *

=Our Critics.=

"'The Seven Deadly Sins.' Frederick Rogers.

This is a subject that Mr. Rogers is eminently fitted to
explore."--_Review of Reviews._

* * * * *

"Tenor wanted, to join bass; must have voice."--_Scotch Paper._

Some people are so exacting.

* * * * *

"Bride in apricot."--_Daily Paper._

A new significance is added to the calculation of one's fruit
stones--"This year, next year, some time, never."

* * * * *

THE ASHES.

[A final salutation to the M.C.C. team, from one who is destined
to perish in the event of a coal strike.]

O ship that farest forth, a greater _Argo_,
Unto the homeland of the woolly fleece,
Soft gales attend thee! may thy precious cargo
Slide over oceans smoothed of every crease,
So as the very flower, or pick,
Of England's flanneled chivalry may not be sick!

And thou, O gentle goddess Hygieia,
Hover propitious o'er the vessel's poop;
Keep them from chicken-pox and pyorrhoea,
Measles and nettle-rash and mumps and croup;
See they digest their food and drink,
And land them, even as they leave us, in the pink!

Thou, too, whose favour they depend so much on
(Fortune, I mean) in this precarious game,
Oh let there be no blob on their escutcheon,
Or, if a few occur, accept the blame;
Do not, of course, abuse thy powers;
We'd have the best side win, but let that side be ours.

Summer awaits them there while we are wheezing
By empty hearths through bitter days and black;
Yet we rejoice that, though we die of freezing
And cannot get