very true; and though my
first care is for his life, my next is for his happiness, which I
believe more likely to be secured by his remaining in the midst of
action and excitement abroad, than in any steady pursuit at home.
My benefit was not as good as it ought to have been; it was not
sufficiently advertised, and it took place on the night of the
reading of the Reform Bill, which circumstance was exceedingly
injurious to it.

To-day is John's birthday. I was in hopes it might not occur to my
mother, but she alluded to it yesterday. I was looking at that
little sketch of him in her room this morning, with a heavy heart.
His lot seems now cast indeed, and most strangely. I would give
anything to see him and hear his voice again, but I fear to wish
him back again among us. I am afraid that he would neither be happy
himself, nor make others so.

GREAT RUSSELL STREET, 1831.

It is a long time, dear H----, since I have written to you, and I
feel it so with self-reproach. To-day, except paying a round of
visits with my mother and acting this evening, I have nothing to
prevent my talking with you in tolerable peace and quiet--so here I
am. You have no idea what a quantity of "things to be done" has
been crowded into the last fortnight: studying Camiola, rehearsing
for two hours and a half every other day, riding for two hours at a
time, and sitting for my picture nearly as long, running from place
to place about my dresses, and now having Lady Teazle and Mrs.
Oakley to _get up_, immediately,--all this, with my nightly work or
nightly gayeties, makes an amount of occupation of one sort and
another that hardly leaves me time for thought.

You will be glad to hear that "The Maid of Honor" was entirely
successful; that it will have a "great run," or bring much money to
the theater, I doubt. It is a _cold_ play, according to the present
taste of audiences, and there are undoubted defects in its
construction which in the fastidious judgment of our critics weigh
down its sterling beauties.

It has done me great service, and to you I may say that I think it
the best thing I have acted. Indeed, I like my own performance of
it so well (which you know does not often happen to me), that I beg
you will make A---