hen that he was of
more assistance to his creature, when he purified him more in the
crucible of affliction; and at other times such memories served as a
greater encouragement; (although my resignation never failed). Then
remembering that there was no bird nor animal among the forest trees of
which divine Providence does not take care, as well in the adornment of
clothing as in giving his daily sustenance, and that to us, who were
rational beings, created in his image and likeness, the contrary
happened, without our having, not only anything to eat, but not even
water to drink, this was an intellectual argument which we kept
meditating on, as we went along the road without stopping.

"But this meditation of mine beginning to search the recesses of my
conscience in my past life, scarcely had it come to the threshold of
this argument, when, knowing that its faults deserved much greater
punishment, it bore the present ones with patience and prepared itself
for greater ones in the future; but as the disordered appetite of this
unrestrained body called out each day for our daily food, remembering
that God himself had taught us to ask for it, though I knew that its
not being found was a chastisement of my sins, not on this account did
I fail to continue the petition every day, particularly at the hour
when I knew that my brothers were eating in the refectories, with such
pleasure and tranquillity, without perhaps remembering us....

"When the hour of noon was passing, on which at the accustomed hour of
eating we remembered said pleadings, there passed also our desire for
the said meal, considering that, since God did not give it, it was not
suitable for us, and thus that his most holy will should be done in
everything, and that if it was best for us to suffer more, his holy
Majesty sent it. Here the soul ruled, but it could not fail that the
body also asked for an offering which would preserve our lives, which
it brought forward by continually asking for it, as one who needed it
so much. I then, leaning on the faith which I had in my Father, San
Diego, on the one side, and on the great need which I suffered on the
other, seeing that in reply to my prayers, San Diego had accomplished
nothing as it appeared to me, in my mind I directed the said Saint, in
holy obedience, now that my prayers were not accepted for my many sins,
that he should go, moved by his great charity, to the gates of Heaven
to ask alms in the name of his br