hat I laugh Ho ho! and hurl out a demon's roar;

For I know to-night that luckless wight will at my mercy lie;
I shall get the good of his sumptuous food and his red port wine so
high.
On him I'll creep in slumber deep when he is bound for me!
Do ye know me now? Do I need avow that I am the TAVERN FLEA?

* * * * *

A CASE OF CLEAN HANDS.

"Would you like to wash your hands, Sir?" "We would." "This way if you
please Sir." We follow, and are shown into a closet, and allowed to
introduce ourselves to soap, water, and towel. We are about to depart
for our dinner--for we are at the _Sun and Staylace_ at Richmond, or at
the _Crozier_ at Greenwich--when we find, mounting guard at the
closet-door (with all the calm determination of a sentinel) the
chambermaid. She is upon duty there, for--at least--sixpence for water,
soap, and towel. For, at least, sixpence; and you can see by the calm
energy of the woman's countenance that she has resolved to have that
tester, or like a true and acknowledged heroine of the domestic drama,
to perish in the attempt. But she has never yet been known to perish,
for she has always achieved her little sixpence!

* * * * *

HA'PORTHS OF PHILOSOPHY.

The only legitimate strike is the strike of the iron when it is hot. A
coward is generally a bully, for he who is chicken-hearted may naturally
be fowl-mouthed.

* * * * *

THE MOUSTACHE!--Working-men are about to adopt the moustache.
Consequently, all idlers--in self-defense--must shave.

* * * * *

[Illustration: WEIGHT AND MEASURE.

"_Quite full, Marm. Might have sqooged the Child in, but you're about a
hounce and a 'arf too large._"]

* * * * *

ANOTHER INSULT TO IRELAND!

(_From the Nation._)

"It is reported that the ever glorious JOHN MITCHELL has escaped from
the blood-red hands of the sanguinary Saxon. And what has been the
reward offered for his apprehension? Why 'L2 or such _lesser sum_ as may
be determined upon by the convicting magistrate!' Forty shillings for
that heroic martyr! Oh, my countrymen, does not the brutal _Times_,
every day of its atrocious existence, offer more for a strayed cur--a
wandering puppy-dog? And forty shillings (or less) for the hope of
Erin!"

It would seem that the Colonial Government has orders to treat Irish
patriots, as at r